It took me 4 hours to pack and I have Sam shipping me most of the things I'll need. But for now the luggage is packed for a few days. Sam tried to talk me into staying but I was to busy planning and packing. I'm done ! I hadn't done anything to deserve this and I'm officially done ..
Sitting on a plane I look at my daughter who looks like she over traveling. It's morning I did not even sleep. I've got a 12 hour flight .. to Italy. I smile.
When I wake up with my arms wrapped around my daughter. She is fussing. I ask for food .. they bring me a tray. I feed Kenna we have another 4 hours before we arrive. It's crazy. I'm playing with Kenna after she eats. She says mommy where is daddy. I cry hard .. she says mommy I say hunny. We are going to visit a friend. Ur friend !! She says who mommy. I say Ethan! She says. Oh. I'm not sure she remembers him .. ugh. It's all gonna be OK.. it's not forever. Just a few weeks .. I need this time to decide how to divorce Jay!!! And convince Matt to come home with me. ...
When Kenna and I step off the plan it's so beautiful here. I love it. It's like instant relax. I'm here !! I take my phone out and call matt... I ask him to come to the air port. He's in shock !!!! I take Kenna and let her run around for a while. Poor baby has been on a plane for way too long .. she is playing in the play area when my phone rings. It's Jay. Nope. .. he says omg ur really here. I stand up and grab Matt I hold him so tight. He says ur here .. he's smiling from ear to ear !! Kenna says mommy .. Matt looks at her and I think I saw a tear. He says hi there beautiful..she reaches for me. I saw Kenna thus is Ethan daddy. Remember she says I wanna see Ethan.. we laugh. He says u will very soon. We arrive at this house it's beautiful!!! Two bedrooms but still perfect .. Matt puts all our stuff down .. I sat Kenna down. Someone knocked on the door I jump hard. Matt put his hand on my back and says it's OK. It's the sitter With Ethan.. Matt open the door and says hey nell... Ethan runs in the house he's 5 yrs old now and very much a boy. Lol. Matt says son.. Ethan stops and looks back. He looks at me and says mimi? I say yes I open my arms and he runs to me. I hug him so tight he remembered me .. I have tears. Of course ..
After dinner Matt says come here we sit down and he turns on the TV for the kids .. he looks at me over the kids heads they are on the couch between us .. he smiles so big. I smile back. I look at my text. 74 from Jay !!!! I read them all and hit delete. Fuck him!!!!! I text him back. Jay I needed to leave for a while. I'm filing for divorce. We can work out all the details soon. But please give me a week to settle down . Jay : where are u ? Tell me now! I wanna know where my daughter is. Me: Jay I promise u Kenna is fine u can call her tomorrow...jay; you fucking cunt!!! I hate u. Me:after I spoke with Erica. I felt the same about you ... so now I'm gonna go .. I'll text u in a few days. Bye .. Jay: you'll regret leaving with our daughter again .
Me: keep threading me. I won't come back ... jay: I'll find u!! Bitch
Two hours later the kids are a sleep on a pallet on the floor in front of the tv.. Matt says I'll get u some blankets. And a pillow. . I shake my head yes.. Matt brings them to the couch and I pull him down beside me .. I hug him and say thank you so much . He says u know I would never turn u away. Ever .. I hug him. He kisses the top of my head .. he says. I have to work tomorrow and Ethan stays at Nell house down stairs .. I say I wanna keep him. Can I? Please. Matt please I've missed him so much .. he smiles really big. And say yes .. I hug him again. .. he says I wanna kiss u so dam bad. .. but I'm not. I look up at him .. he says u need time to be sure this time .. I shake my head yeah. .. I kiss him on his cheek and he's rubbing his thumb on my neck. I want him. But I know it's too soon like he said ..
It's been 4 days of Italy!! And I've kept Ethan with me. I love this boy. Me Ethan and Kenna have been seeing all the sights and having lunch in the most beautiful places . And they play well together. We shop and cook .. the night have been so sweet with Matt and Ethan. They love Kenna. I haven't heard one word from Jay. Nor have I sent word. Tammie text me a few dozen times. I'm not there. I need time. .. I posted on fb . We are fine !
That got much attention. But I didn't respond.. I just needed it out there . I talk to Sam and he sent a box this morning. When me and kids arrive home that evening Matt is cooking lasagna!! He looks so dam good and smells so good. He hugs me when we walk in and kissed his cheek but he turned and it ended up on the lips. He smiled so big. So I did it again ..
We sit and eat. It's so good. Who knew Matt could cook? Wow ! He says u like it. I say yes Matt it's delicious! Kenna says delicious.. we laugh. Ethan says I love this bread. We laugh. Matt says I have dessert .. I hold my stomach. He smiles. .. the kids say yess!!! Lol. 3 hours later I've gotten the kids ready for bed. And Ethan says Kenna can sleep in his room. Kenna says I wanna sleep in Ethan room .. please mommy. I say ok .. they are watching a movie .. Matt and I are sitting on the couch. Matt says everything OK melanie ? I say yes. I'm very happy here. . He says u can stay .. forever .. I smile. He kisses me full on. And it's so good ..
