He's sitting there beside me. Still two fingers deep. He's thinking he can make me cum... I laugh a Lil in my head. .. that's not gonna happen. Not even his hudinni tricks would work right now. .. he lays down. He says please give it to me. You will feel so much better. He's still trying. I don't even respond.. he says baby please participate.... I feel the tears pouring.... he whispers.. you love? In this sad voice . I have not moved. Nor spoke. He could get more love from and blow up doll then me .. he rolls over on top of me. He's in .. he's tried to kiss me a few times. I just lay here. Nothing. I have nothing. He's starts kissing my neck and saying I love you baby. I love u so much melanie. He's moving so deep. I feel it that moment it's happening . The flood. .. Jay makes this face. And I move. Like really move. It felt so good it brought more tears. Jay says please baby please please don't move. I stop .. he's laying on top of me kissing my neck and hold me so tight. He sits up pulls my feet up on his chest and slams into me so hard. He continues this act for a good 3 mins. And he falls over on the bed. I stand up and walk he grabs me with both hands and stops me. He pulls me toward him he says please stop hating me. We agreed to play. Remember. I whisper I'm done.... I stand and walk to the shower. I turn the shower on and step in ... I'm kneeling on the shower floor with hot water pouring over the back of my head. I'm holding the sides of my head and crying uncontrollable... he sits down on the floor of the shower and takes me in his arms. I wanted to push away. I did. Want to. But instead I just lay there. I feel broken. Jay whispers explain to me. I don't understanding.. I say. Sense we started "playing" we haven't made love once. You have seem so happy with it all. I didn't wanna take that away from u. But some how in the last yr. I've lost me .. the romantic sap that I am. . I look up at him. Jay I need balance in all this. I still need to know u really love me. .. he looks at me and says. I'm sry melanie I had no idea. I hug him tight. He whispers ur right now more. We can go back to being us. OK? OK. I say. .. after we are outta the shower I've had a few mins to think about this .. I'm still not satisfied.. I look up at Jay and say Jay. Does this mean u won't take it anymore.. or rip my clothes. Does this mean u will ask me. ... Jay turns around from where he was getting dressed. His eyes are them angry slits again .. I did not rape u . U are my wife. We had sex. I did not want to .. I whisper ... he says why didn't u just say no ? Huh ? Because I've never ever said no to u. But when I'm dry as sand. I figured ud stop. U know how u always have. Jay says well I've had sex with u many times when I didn't want to so I guess we are even then. What? When. .. Jay says not important melanie. Let's just drop this. I'm done talking to you about this. .... I jump up so dam fast I scream WHAT ? NO U DON'T GET TO DECIDE EVERYTHING JAY !!! WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. Jay look at me now. He looks up and says. I can't. I not gonna keep explaining this to u when u don't wanna understand it .. I get it now it's not for u. Jay. It was fine but per usual u take everything to the extreme .. rape is not a game or playing. Rough sex is fun. Not character ruining. .. ur taking me to places that seem un human ... Jay looks up and says don't day I raped u ever again. Ull regret it. .. YOU DID RAPE ME !! twice!!!! When u have to lick the dam thing to get it in. It's not consensual!!!!! As Jay turns around his eye slits are so thin I'm not even sure he can see me. He says with such malice I could feel it. Then I'll go find a woman who is very much consensual.... he walks out the room. Three hours later as I sit at the kitchen island. Not knowing wear Jay went to. In my suv.... at least I think k he took my car. I look out side yep. ... Oh well. I'll make me some food. After I'm full. I decided to call bea. She's here in 20 mins. Bea walks in the house and says. Plan b ... I say huh. She says you my doll are not gonna sit here all night crying while he's out .... we get all did up. I mean seriously... I look up and see the band playing 80's hair Rock ... I laugh so hard. Bea says come on. We go dance. There are very few people here. But that's cool. We have fun anyway. The next club we end up at is very up scale. And two men are asking can they buy us drink. Yes thank u bea says. Drink one ! I smile as I drink it all. Bea and I walk down to the dance floor ... an hour later and two more drink bea says u can dance . With her hands on my hips. Lol. By 7 am I'm in bed with bea .. lol. Yep we passed out cold on the bed together. We had a blast last night but I'm paying for it now . I sit up and see bea laid out in nothing going but her panties . I look down and see my clothes on the floor I jerk my head up and see Jay standing in the door frame. He is staring at bea very naked Ness. .... he walks on in the room . I'm not even shocked. I stand up and walk to the bathroom.. I turn the shower on I have to get back to mommy mode. I have to pick my kids up soon. Ugh. My head is kinda fuzzy .. I need aleve and orange juice .. I step in the shower and see Jay walk in the bathroom. He says looks like u had fun. As I'm looking in the bottom of the shower and see glitter pouring out my hair. Ugh. What did I do. I smirk as I look up at Jay. Yes I did. He's watching me wash my hair .. bea says move I'm gonna be sick as she passes Jay. Top less. I lol. She's hanging on the toilet bowl. When I step out the shower she steps in ... Jay is gone .. two hours later I'm much better bea seems better . She says I'm so very sorry he saw me naked. I lol. No problem. I'm sure it made his day. Bea looks at me like no. Just no. We both laugh. . Jay walks in the house and says very loud how yall feel ? We both throw bread at him. He's laughing as he leans up on the island.. he says please tell me u two did it. ... I say all night. With the look of pure bliss. Bea says she's so good. Mmmmmm as she rubs my ass. We laugh bea says I gotta get. Love ya doll and kisses my forehead. I hug her and she leaves ... Jay walks around the island to me and says. I missed u .. I look up and say no just no. I pick up my purse and ask for my keys. Jay hands me my keys and says where u going ? I say to pick up the kids ...
