Jay went to bed .. I lay on the couch feeling a lot tippsie... when I wake Jay is standing over me. He says ur alarm just went off. I say ok. I sit up thinking wow I did drink that crap.. ugh. Jay says I'll make breakfast.. I walk to the shower. An hour later. I've done my make up and hair. I look pretty good. I get dressed and walk to the kitchen I hear the twins Jay runs to get them and Kenna is walking towards me with her arms open. I pick my very big girl up. She's heavy. We eat in silence. I get the girls ready. Jay says he's gotta go .. he kiss the girls and kiss me on top of my head. He hug me and left. I have a knot in my stomach the size of a grape fruit. I drop the girls at Molly's.. I have to work 6 hours today. When I walk in the kitchen at work Markus says u look good today boss lady .. much better then yesterday.. I smile. He says u ok? I say yes . He says then make me something awesome .. he winks and leaves the kitchen. 3 hours later I take mark a plate of my very best lasagna.. he's sitting in the break room.. he looks tired. I say here ya go. He smiles up at me. Thank you. We eat and talk about my life. I tell him my husband found an old whore and is leaving me. Markus looks in shock . Wow I'm so sry. I say it is what is. He says dam boss lady. I say melanie. He says yeah I know ur name. We laugh . Use my name then dork. I throw my bread at him .. he's smiling. Jeff walks in. He says oh thank God she's smiling. .. Markus says u should talk to ur boss. Boss lady . I push him .. Jeff shut the door behind Markus and says what's up.. I tell him. He hugs me so tight. Wow girl I'm sry he says .. he says u need coffee and chocolate.. I lol .. two more hours and I'm stirring this soup but looking off in space. When I yelp ou... Markus comes up what happen he ask as I'm holding my arm. I burnt it on the pot . Markus grabs the spray out the break room cabinet and sprays it on my burn. I grit my teeth. It burns. Wow. Jeff says here wrap her arm up to Markus. I'll tend bar. Jeff says. Markus leads me to the break room and I sit down. While he's looking at my arm he says u zoned out huh. I shake my head yes. I say I just wonder if he's already took his stuff and left us . Markus looks at me .. he says your gonna be OK. It's tuff. But so are u boss... I mean melanie. I smile sorta. Markus has my arm wrapped up and pats my head .. he says. Hey. Look at me. I look up. He says. U will be just fine. And if ur not u know u can call me any time I'll watch u drink it away. .. he smiles. He don't drink.
I pack my purse up and I walk to the bar. I hug Markus. Thanks for taking care of me today. He hugs me tight. He says u will be OK. I promise. Call me if u need to talk .. OK thanks I say. As I walk to my car I feel the knot in my stomach the size of a watermelon. I have tears . Why does this feel like this. .. I pick the girls up and go straight to zares house I tell her the short version and beg her to keep the girls. . I'll be here in the morning at 7 am. She says no problem.. I get in the car. Ugh. I don't wanna go home. Please let him have changed his mind. .. God I'm so confused . When I get home Jay's truck is in the drive way. He's here ... I walk in the house and see 8 big boxes.. I see his stuff all around the living room. He looks up at me when I walk in. I sit down in my chair and for an hour I watch him lift boxes and carry them to his truck when he's done he walks back in the house he walks up to my chair kneels down and puts his hands on my knees. He whispers not for ever . I haven't looked at him. He says hey look at me . I shake my head no. He whispers please. I look up at him. He says I'll be here to see the girls almost every day. OK.. I shake my head yes . Melanie we need this .. he whispers. I look away. I'm cracking I'm gonna Crack. I'm gonna cry. I feel the lump in my throat .. Jay says come here he stands and pulls me to my feet. He walks to the door. He turns and hugs me so tight I fall apart.. tears poor out so hard. He just holds me for so long. He says baby I love you. .. I can't say it. I can't breath. He let's go of me and pulls my face up to him. He says hey we will be OK.. I look in his eyes I say no .. he says yes . He says I gotta go baby. Please please take care if ur self we have to for the girls .. he puts his fingers under my chin lifts my face up and kiss my lips. So softly. His lips were trembling.. I say Jay don't go .. in a whisper tone that broke my heart so bad.. he put his forehead to mine. He whispers. Not forever .. he walked out the door. I hit the floor on my knees and sobbed for so long. These serious cry omg I can't describe .. the amount of pain . Was too much.
The next morning I find myself feeling around on my vanity for my drops. I can't see. I pour them in and lay down on the bed. .. it's 7 am. I call zare I can't drive .. she says she will bring the girls home later. I say thanks. I walk to the shower.. an hour later sitting at my breakfast table drinking coffee I hear the door open. It's Tammie. She walks up and hugs me so tight. We cry for an hour just hugging. She says I love you girl .. I say I love you too. .. he's gone tam... she says I know. He message me .. I look at her. He knew u would need me. I shake my head yes . We just sit. . She says I'll stay for a few days to help u. .my kids are in Florida with dam and his new wife .. I look at her ..yeah I know I talk to him .. she says yeah. .. we sit and she holds me while I cry. .
