Jay followed me around for a while. I told him at midnight to go to bed. He would need strength tomorrow.. taking care if 4 kids alone is hard .. he said if u please come lay down with me .. I say no. He says please melanie. Please baby. He's crying .. I say Jay. I'm not gonna do. That. I need this weekend to think all this over. I don't wanna leave. And I don't want us to separate.. I'd do anything to keep our family together. But being in ur arms is just not where I wanna be. For a while. .. Jay looks up. He got tears rolling down his face. He says I'm so sorry. Please please baby. Just lay in our bed with me. Please. No . I walk away. I pull the French bread from the freezer to allow it to thaw till morning. That's breakfast. . I turn off all the lights the only light is the little bit from the purifiers.. I lay down on the couch. I pull my blanket up on me. I see Jay sitting down next to the couch.. on the floor. He puts his hand on my side. He's crying still. I turn over away from him .. he's on his knees on the floor behind me. Leaned over me. Saying melanie. I love u with all my heart. I'm so sorry. Please come to bed with me. I don't move or speak. I need sleep.. Jay is still whispering to me an hour later. Rubbing my side back hip and now ass. He says baby please let me touch u. He's in my ear. Begging. Please baby just say yes. He's put his hand down the back of my sweat pants. I stop him. He says don't baby let me please. I turn back look at him. And say no Jay. Stop don't touch me. Go to bed. I have to sleep. I have to drive all day. ..
When I wake Jay is laying on top of me. Kissing my head face neck. Please come to bed with me. Please he's whispering... I say move I have to pee. He stands up off the couch. I walk to our bathroom. It's 7 am according to the clock. I walk to the twins room. They are awake playing in there crib... Jay always puts them in the same crib. They have two. I smile so big and say good morning my babies. They both stand up and wrap around my neck. I carry them to the living room. I sit in my chair with them. Holding them so tight. I'm gonna miss my babies. I kiss them so much. Jay says good morning babies. As he sits down in front of my chair. The girls climb down on him. He kisses them and hugs them. Kenna walks in climbs up in my lap and lays her head down on my chest. Sissy walks in and says I'm hungry. I say I'll put breakfast in the oven soon. She makes her self and Kenna some apple juice. Jay looks up at me and says don't go please let's work this out. I stand and take Kenna to the table. I sit her in front of her juice. Jay brings the babies to there high chairs. I put the French bread in the oven and get the fruit tray out. I open it up and the girls dig in. I give Emmy and evvy. Some tiny fruit. I cut up just for them. They eat. I tell Jay. Watch them and take the bread out in 20 mins .. he set the timer on the stove. I get a shower and get dressed. I walk to the kitchen and he's already made there plates. I make mine and sit down. With my coffee. And water. Jay sits next to me. He's not eating but he has a plate ..
Two hours later I'm completely ready it's 11 am. I'm leaving at noon. I've gotta put lunch together .. I've made chicken pot pies. Muffin size. And the twins love this. So I know they will eat well . I put them in the oven... I hold the girls in my lap for the next hour. When I tell them I have to get going Jay says Put the girls in the pen. And come here. Please. I walk to the room with him. He says please baby kiss me before u leave. I kiss him. He kisses me so sweetly. Holding me so tight. He says I love you. I say I gotta go. He says melanie say it. Please. I look at him. . No. I walk back to the living room kiss the kids kiss sissy. Pick up my purse. Jay runs to the door. .. say it baby please. He whispers... I look at him. I can't. Stop. He has tears. . I do too. ..
An hour down the street I almost turned around. I didn't wanna leave the girls. And I kept thinking I wanna fix my marriage...
But I kept driving.
I pull up to this country club resort type place. It's the most beautiful place I've seen. I text Matt. I'm here. He says I'm running toward u right now. I look up. He's way down the way. He got here last night. .. it's a 4 hours drive .. he runs up to me and grabs me and swings me around. He kisses me for a while. I'm smiling like loon . He is too. He says lemme get ur stuff. I open the back and we take my stuff to this room. It's so nice. All sandstone white linen and powder light colors. There is a king size bed. Two bed side tables. And sink. With a single serve keurig the small one .. I have the big one back home. There is a large bathroom to the left. .. there are French doors leading out the back of the room. There is a patio. And a small hot tub. A table with two chairs. This is a couples resort. No kids . Out past the patio is sand. And a massive clear water ocean looking thing. I don't know what to call it. Lol. It water super crystal clear very deep and beautiful. There are tiki huts all around. And a stage for a band. There is a huge bar on the right side. And dinning tables way over there. This place is so like outta my league. It's gorgeous.. Matt is watching me. I look over at him . He says please say u like it. I love it Matt. Wow. This is wow. He says phhh. And wipes his brow. I look at him. I hug him so tight. Matt u did not have to go this far. He said yes I did. As he lifts me and lays me on the bed. He's kissing me so passionately.. he says I've missed u so much. U have no idea how hard it was sleeping here with out u. .. I smile. While I'm under this beast of a man. He's so dam big. .. his arms which I turn and kiss he's kissing my neck. I want to so bad right now. I know he does too.
He pulls me off the bed and says u wanna swim. I say yes. Smiling too hard. He is too. I pick up my luggage and look threw it till I find my bathing suit. It's a whole piece. It's white. It's cut super low in the front and very high on the hips. I like it. Plus it covers the stretch marks. Lol.
