There it is this was another fucking lesson!!! Jay has been playing this game from the day I met him .. it's always something he has to prove to me or teach me .. I say so yet another lesson huh. Let me take notes professor! !! I yell! He hates when I yell ... he wants us to talk calmly and work threw things .. I'm a yeller. I like to yell scream and get my point across he looks up at me and says no I was in Nashville and it was work related . No lesson today class . But I'm just saying i don't like you being gone at night either. That's our time as a family and as husband and wife . Well I guess we will just have to find away to deal with the fact our jobs take us away from each other then huh.. he says I don't want it too all sad faced .. I say I'm not gonna deal with u staying over night in other cities ..he looks up quick. Melanie I had no choice . He says. Yes u did Jay I say. .. he says OK. I'm not gonna fight about that . Oh you get to pick what we fight about too !!! I yell. He says stop yelling at me . Oh no you didn't !! YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR 30 SOMETHING HOURS AND U COME HOME TELLING ME WHAT TO DO ? I DON'T THINK SO JAY ! He stands up and goes to walk away. His signature move when I yell. He's done quick .. he refuses to have a screaming match with me .. he always says when u calm down we can talk .. I hate this about him !! I grab his arm and turn him around . Jay look at me ! He looks in my eyes .. we are not getting anywhere ..there has to be some changes made now . What do u wanna do Melanie ? He ask .. I'm not sure Jay . I let go of him .. I'm exhausted! This day out with the kids and going. Has really made me tired .. not sure why tho .. and now I feel sick .. like really nauseous! I run to the bathroom and puke my guys out .. Jay holds my hair back .. I stand and walk over to the sink Jay says you OK ? I say yes I'm fine .. he says u get so worked up .. I'm looking at him in the mirror .. yeah that's it .. I say. He says what. I say Jay I'm sick. I don't feel good. .. please just go check on the kids .. I need to lay down for a min . He says.. no they are fine .. I need to stay with you .. I lay down on the bed and feel sick again .. I'm seriously just gonna stay here for a while .. I hate to puke .. an hour later I've cleaned up brush my teeth and I feel so much better. .. I tell Tammie we ate something bad at the zoo.. she says maybe .. Jay has held me an said sorry so many times. And keeps asking me are u OK ? I tell him I'm fine . Over the next three days about this same time of day I feel sick and puke .. I feel like crap.. I think the food was bad and I just can't get it out my system! Ugh.. but crazy as it sounds coffee is what triggers it .. I stop in my tracts !!! I'm fine all except when I drink coffee and I only feel sick at this time of day. .. wow ..I check my calendar. .one week late .. fuck!!! I pick up McKenna and get in the car .. standing there looking at the pregnancy test ... I pick up two .. I walk around the dollar tree and pick up other stuff I need .. get McKenna some new coloring books and crayons .. house stuff. When I leave I've spent $ 60 ugh.. and I still need to go grocery shopping. Spend the next three hours at Kroger .. when I arrive home just in time for Jay to help bring the bags in. Hehe ... I made sure the pregnancy test is in my purse .. don't want him to know yet .. maybe it will be negative. I put McKenna in her play pen and tell Jay watch her I have to pee . Three min later.. I PREGNANT AGAIN! Put the test under the sink .. I walk back in the kitchen and begin putting away the groceries. Jay is playing with McKenna . Who will turn 2 in a few mons.. wow I'll have another baby before she's 3 yrs old . I feel sick again .. no no I don't ..I'm fine! Marissa walks in the kitchen with me. She says I have to tell u something. .. I look up at her from the bag I'm digging in .. she says I'm pregnant! I feel faint ish... oh wow ! I say how far along ..? She says I don't know exactly I do just found out yesterday u know home test .. I smile .well congratulations then ! She says yeah we are happy ! And I think of Matt ..
