Jay has pulled my pants down on one side .. he's rubbing my naked hip .. he says take them off.. I stand there not moving . He growled take them off Melanie .. I look at his face .not even sure who this man is .. he snatched the pants off me quick.. he threw me down on the bed .. I lay there not sure what he's gonna do ..is he really gonna do this ? He pulls my panties off .. he walks over to the door makes sure it's locked and turns off the light. I crawl up to the head board and grabbed the pillow. He's in front of me. He grabs my feet and yank me down ..I'm flat on my back .. he crawls on top of me .. he says stop fighting me. I want you now .. I say I can't Jay. .. he says you're gonna . I say stop Jay . I push his face away from mine .. he grabs my hands and holds them above my head in one of his hands .. he rubs down my belly with his free hand. He's pushing inside me. I'm not sure who was more in shock him or me but I'm wet .. he says see u do want me .. I turn my face away from him ... he says why can't you ever just play along. I just wanted to play .. I look at him like he's lost his way . I put my face to his chest. ..even a moment like this. I still seek comfort in him. I can't explain this ..and I can't explain why I'm turned on.. this is way to confusing .. he's still got his fingers inside me .. I ask him .. Jay are u not gonna stop ? He says no . He tries to kiss me I turn my head ..I'm not real sure of anything.. I think I want him to continue but I have to know if he would do this against my will.. he says baby. Don't make this a bad thing. I want you. .. I say Jay stop please .. this is weird for me. We were fighting and then we're here .. I'm confused .. he whispers don't be baby. We don't have to fight anymore. I'm not doing anyone but you. And I want you right now. Ur my wife , I should be able to have you ... I say Jay wait please. as he starts kissing my neck and saying Ur mine. All mine. Anytime I want ... I know for sure he isn't gonna stop. And I start crying .. silent tears pour down my face as I lay there .. I guess allowing him to have it his way . He's trying to make me convulse. It's never gonna happen. I don't think I like him right now .. he whispers give it to me. .. please baby. Show me we are OK .. I'm sry. I'll do better ..please baby do it. Please. He's breathing so hard .. he's wanting this so bad .. I couldn't do this if he had a gun to my head !! And some how it feels as such .. he kisses my face ..kiss me .he says. I kiss him ..my lips are trembling. . He says Melanie. Please Ur making this something it's not .. I turn my head away .. he's on top of me and inside me quick. He's going hard .. he says baby please don't make this like this .. I'm not doing anything u didn't want me too.. and I have to think .. did I want this. Did I say yes .. no I said no . But I was turned on .. and it does feel good. But I'm so in my head .. I feel this is wrong .. something in my gut says this is wrong. He took it . I didn't consent .. or maybe I did. I don't even know .. I just lay under him and cry . I feel the burning hot tears pours down my face. Jay has kissed my eyes and my lips .. he keeps saying don't cry ..u want me . Say u want me Melanie .. and the emotional side of this is working against me.. it makes it feel so dam good. It's very strange when Ur heart and Ur body are conflicted .. I'm so confused. Jay says Melanie as he pulls back .. I look up at him. He says say you wanted this .. I shake my head yeah. He says show me .. I pull him to me and kiss him ..I squeeze my insides very tight around him. And he finished .. he says I love you baby. I stand and walk to our bathroom in our bedroom I stand in the shower crying so hard. Wth? Just happen ? I don't even know .. one thing is becoming clear . I don't trust Jay !!
