McKenna is 8 weeks old. Two full mons .. and I'm sitting on the couch it's about 10 am McKenna is in her swing right in front of me .. she just went to sleep . I'm staring off in space .. thinking about yesterday. I dress my baby up in a super adorable outfit and tool her to my job .. the job I haven't been to in three mons. Jeff was all about McKenna he held her the whole time. All my fellow employees were awwwwwing and oohhhhhhhing. She's so cute. I love her outfit !! They were all about when u coming back . I tell them I'm not sure yet. I just wanted yall to see the love of my life.. Jeff says we'll keep her . She too cute !! I laugh. I decide to make some dinner after that memory. . McKenna is content for now. Maybe I'll have time to whip up something Jay has gone back to work . And I like to have dinner on the table .. even tho I'm not even sure why. he hasn't touched me sense I had our daughter ..not even tried anything with me ..so weird .Jay use to beg me for sex. I guess he don't like the changes of my body either . I'm not sure but I've been so sad and let down because of it ..maybe he don't love me anymore . He says I love you and he holds me on the couch. But in bed he keeps his distance! ! We could have been having sex for the past two weeks !!! And yet nothing . Maybe it's cuz he comes home to me in my bed clothes looking like death. But I'm elbow deep in spit up crap and formula all day . My hair stays on top my head in a bun out of her face .. maybe I should really give myself a make over today. I call zare . She's here an hour later . Her knew nanny has her kids.. she says she will keep McKenna while I'm out ..I pull dinner from the oven and place it on the keep warm burner .. I grab my keys and my purse .. she says I promise she will be fine . As I'm kissing her and telling her I love her ..so much mommys sry .. I need to do this .. when I'm in the car crying like a loon for leaving my baby for the first time .. I turn up the radio I haven't listen to music loud in a while .. I arrive at the spa zare and I go to .or use to . I tell ms. Key I need the works!! She looks at me like I just came from the show surviver.. . Three hours later I feel of the human woman kind. I drive to sb.. then to the hair Salon . Two hours there .. I've gotten my hair cut and colored . It looks fierce! ! OK one more stop . Mani pedi . An hour there.. off to the mini strip mall .I need at new outfit . Another hour .I have six new outfits .. I Needed new clothes. I've lost all baby weight. And I'm at my normal size ..but the body is shot. Oh well. I feel so good right now .. I'm headed home ..when I arrive. I pick up my baby and love her like crazy! ! Zare says she's fine. I say thank you so much . She says wow u look normal again. I look at her ..she says we all go threw that. U have to get it back .. I say no I have to get my man back .. she looks confused. I say zare he hasn't touched me .. like no sex yet it's been three mons. I'd think he'd be climbing the wall. Jay don't go with out ! She says Mel . He's just trying to wait on u to be ready . I was ready 2 mons ago !! Zare says talk to him . No! I'm not gonna look thirsty . My phone buzzes it's marrissa we have been becoming really good friends. . And they have hung out a few more times .. I say hey girlly. She says what u doing .. oh nothing . You? Oh nothing . I wanted to talk to you .. she says . Oh OK .. what's up . She says what are yall doing tonight ? Nothing at all .. she says we can come over at around 8 pm .. if yall want company. Absolutely! I say . OK girl I'll see ya then .. OK bye .. zare has grabbed her purse and out her shoes back on ... she says I gotta get home to mine . We hug and she leaves. I've got an hour before Jay gets home .. I do my make up real quick and my clothes are washing . McKenna is fussing so I get her .. I get her feed and clean for company . She looks so cute . I grab my clothes put them on. Tight jeans a black wrap around type top. Looks so good. Black sandles. Yes I'm back !!
