mons later it's McKenna birthday party at the tea room . It's this super cute tea party place for Lil girls. And birthday party's we have dress McKenna and sissy up in these beautiful Lil party dresses and white gloves. So cute. When we arrive the place is so gorgeous there are 10 tables set up with the most adorable tea cups , sausers , and tea pitchers. A center piece stand with cookies omg so cute .. the girls are set at the tables and they are served ..I'm standing at the back of the room taking pics and Tammie is videoing. When I see Jay walk past me over to McKenna she leaps up and wraps her arms around her daddy's neck she is so happy he's here .. Jay and I had a talk a few mons ago and we decided he would move out of our home. . I told him it was over .and I'd move out with McKenna but he insisted that we stay . He wanted her to stay in her home .it moved out the next day. .he's got an apartment 6 mins from my house .. the house was always mine anyway. ..or grandpa ..but OK. I'd never push that .. Jay said he wouldn't stay in the house alone . He'd sale it . I Said no! So I agreed I'd keep the house . A month ago I filed for a divorce . We have our first court date in a month. But anyway. Jay is holding Kenna and kissing her face . He sits her back in her seat .. he is telling her I'll be right here ..she sits and eats her cookie the ladies that run the place are teaching the girls how to hold there cup ..pinky out .. we laugh . Jason walks up to me and says hi . I say hi. I haven't seen Jason's face in two mons in 8 weeks . I've refused . Zare or Tammie drop Kenna off to him and pick her up . This is the first time in 8 weeks . And I can't. As soon as he said hi. And I said hi ..I looked at Tammie .. she nodded .. I walked to the hall and went to the bathroom. I'm sobbing hard. I love Jay so fucking much I've been dying sense he left .. but the damage we did can't be fixed or taken back . That trust is gone .. I'm standing there sobbing holding tissue to my face ..when Zare walks in she hugs me immediately. .oh Mel .. are u ok? No.. no. I'm not. It's killing me !!! She says you haven't seen him . I say 8 weeks ... she says dam Mel .. I know. This is hard .. yes . It is. I can't. She says u can .. I say Zare I'm gonna fall apart .. she says nope we are gonna keep it together for Kenna . Did u see her ? She misses him .. she says Mel u miss him . And Kenna sees him. She OK . I say yeah ur right .. she says here and hands me some clear eyes drop ..I clean up my face and drop some in ... I walk back out and Jay is taking pics of Kenna. . He's smiling so big. And dam he's so fine !!! Like OK why does he have to look good ..why couldn't he be ugly now. That would make my life easier .. he turns to me and says she was drinking tea like a pro u missed it momma .. I look down . He says hey I turn and walk away .. I walk over to Kenna . They are playing games now. . Kenna is showing Chloe how to tho these tea bag hacky sacs. . It's so cute . Tammie looks up at me and says u OK? Yep ! She says nope ! I walk away from her too. I can't burst into tears here now .. two hours later we are leaving the party Jay has packed all McKenna gifts in his truck . He says I'll meet u there .. I put my head down on the steering wheel and cry hard .. Tammie has took Chloe and McKenna with her . I'm sitting in the parking lot .. in my car crying my fucking eyes out .. just full blown sobs .. could not drive if I wanted too . My door opens and he's there he says come here .. he pulls me in his arms and holds me so tight. He says I love you baby ..I do Melanie. . I'm sry I'm not trying to make things harder on us .. he's in my ear saying all I really can't hear. ..it's killing me .. he says come on. U don't need to drive . I look up at him .. he says ride with me . Come on .. I say no Jason . I need to take my car .. he says please ..please baby . I'll get ur car. .. it's getting dark .. let me take u home ..
