I'm taking some alieve when I see Jay walk back up to the back doors . He walks in and sits down .. he looks at me .. you sick ? He ask ..I say no ..he says what was the pill u just took. I throw the alieve bottle at him he caught it . Dam I was hoping it would hit him in the head . Knock some sense into him .. he says hey don't go as I'm walking away. I look at him hard ..I can feel my eyes swelling already . I have the eye drops in my hand just got them filled a few days ago ..with my migraine meds. He says don't go please ..let's talk ..Jay u left here with another woman I'm all talked out. I start to walk . Jay says I did not ..I walked outside told her I was Married and not interested. . I've been sitting right there watching you. I look up . He says you tell me to fuck off u leave me but. U cry for hours ..i don't get you. He pulls me in his arms and holds me . Why are you crying ? I'm sobbing again . He's whispering in my ear he knows he can get anything he wants with this ...it works . But I can't talk ..I'm hurt . I'm so fucking hurt ..my body is aching and I feel just done. . I have pain those weird emotional pains going threw my chest and belly .. my nerves are shot. I didn't realize just how much I was being effected by all this . Jay is holding me ..that's all I know right now .. he says I love you ..and I can't . I cry way harder .. he says come here he picks me up on his lap .. he's holding me so tight .. I love you baby. Please know I love you .. I'm so sry..I hear McKenna scream I'm out of Jays lap and holding McKenna in one sec..she's OK ..but she has nightmares now. This has been happening a lot sense we got here.. she will just sit up and scream out .. Jay was with me every step to McKenna he's sitting right next to me .. rubbing Kennas hair . I'm telling her I'm here baby I'm here ur OK .. within two minutes she back a sleep .. I lay her down. . Jay pulls me in his lap. He's whispering when did she start this ..u said she does this most nights now .. I Say a few weeks ago. He says maybe she don't like it here .. she should be in her home .you too . I lay my head on his chest. He says come home with me baby please .. I look up .. Jay I need my eye drops .. I stand and walk back to the kitchen island ..i pick them up ..Jay takes them and says come on. We walk to the couch I lay back my head in his lap and he puts the drops in my eyes .. after a few minutes he says baby they are not gonna work if u keep crying . I sit up and walk to the kitchen i take another paper towel.. and hold it to my face . I just can't how can I let him go ..how can I watch him leave tomorrow. . I feel this pain ..it's beyond anything. I wanna scream stop. I want it to stop . I feel myself slipping .. I know I have to do this. ..if I don't I'll never know .. and that will be worse .. I feel him put his hand on my belly and pull me I'm leaned over on the island he says come with me please I look up at him ...he says please I'm begging. . He's got his hand on my belly .. it's just there he's not done anything. I stand up he takes my hand and leads me to the room we use to stay in.. he shuts the door behind us it's pitch black .. he walks me over to the bed he pulls me to him he's hugging me so tight. ..he says if you want our marriage to be over and you really don't wanna come home with me. Then tell me right now to leave this room. If you wanna stop both of our pain and us be together then take my clothes off ..and get in this bed and make love to me till we can't no more .....
I stand there holding him tight . I lift his shirt up and rub his abs .. he puts his head down and he's crying I can feel his stomach jumping with each sob .. I lift his arms and pull his shirt over and off .. I take his button and undo it. He's crying hard .. I felt the tears hit my hand .. his short hit the floor .. he reaches down and lifts my sweater over my head. .he puts his hands on my hips and rubs down my shorts .. he pulls them down. They hit the floor .
