WhiteGXRoblox's Slice of Journal

9th ???? 2023

How's today?

Concerned

My future plans is..... What is gonna happen, hm?

I went to a cafe meet up with nephew from Singapore by my parents. One topic only caught my interest and I'm involved in it. In which is, "Socializing with people".

Let me set up a board in mind. I don't have many friends, I would say 1 to 4 male friends. We barely even contact each other. I didn't bother to ask how are they. Except one that says he went to work as a repairman. That's all I know. One that catch my mind is my two acquaintance I know in the past. well, now 3 now.

The way how I look in my life & history like it's a video game or reality show. lol

Jace?

I almost completely forgot this person named "Jace", Hope she is doing alright. It's been years and she would be 19 or 20 years old already. No info that is she still studying or got a job but hopefully alright. The thing is, If she is actually troubled. I have nothing to help. I feel worthless lol. She's a good girl, she helped me out & the project's team in terms of homework and I help her with English.

Codename X.L?  

Hmm. I remember I met her again back in 2022 December, that's the last time I saw her dyed White hair. We actually... finally talked to each other. We spent long enough glaring each other eyes because we are both too embarrassed say hi to each other. After 30 minutes, before my parent have to return home. I finally coughed up my courage and say Hi to her. I can see in her eyes that she probably struggles to come say Hi to me too. I am kinda glad I did it first?

 Back then when we still in middle school, we were just two little introvert embarrassed to talk to each other. I feel bad for talking to her where people are around, that is. People may mistaken we were both going out that would trouble her. She only have friend, that is her best friend usually she hangs out with her. And I would be some random student that talks to her. There were times she was harassed by someone I didn't even step in and help her out.

She probably think who is this random nerd keep talking to me, that never came to my mind because she never mention it. There were times I try to strike up conversations and tried to make a nice conversation but end up somewhat awkward. Now in 2023, this bothers me. Why did dye her hair? Is she going out with someone else? Why didn't I ask her numbers when we met? I feel like I need to go out and cycle around the places where we last meet up. She probably lives near there.

But if we do meet by chance... What could I say with her? "How is life going?" it would be short but enough to make me cheer up and heart race that I finally meet her once again. Why? is it because I like her or because she is my crush? 

New acquaintance, codename H.L

At the first or second month of 2023, I finally resit for my exam retake. Since I cannot study anywhere in Malaysia without my History pass minimium grade requirement. 

I was so nervous, since the resit take place in completely different school and I felt loss. So I decides to ask around and look for other students who were like me. Long story short, There was this Malay girl who happened to be in same situation, We discussed about the exam resit & where does it take place. Eventually, we both found the correct building in the school. She have a study group consists of 2 person. Which is her, and a person I codenamed her "H.L" she seems to be same age as me.