WhiteGXRoblox's Slice of Journal

4 October 2023

Damn I got scholded by CDY about making too much noises and spoke too loud while playing Barotrauma with friends at 3am.

It's about to be 2pm already, there's not much pain on my finger. Seeing the medicine I placed on table. Reminds me to take medicine after meal, I will take these with me after I go out. Antibiotic are must finish anyway. Sometime I can feel my artery or veins pump as same speed as my heart through my finger. My muscle still stings and stiff a bit. It just I will be careful to all physical stuff today. Was trying out the new update about Gran Turismo 7 and discovered a new glitched grinding method everyone talks about on reddit. But turns out my brother is setting up that too but needed more credit as investment or requirement. Since I have some extra information I might share it with him as well. At the same time, he took over the control of the PS5. 

Either way, I was about to help him grind but he wanting to play new so. I guess I will check on Genshin Impact a bit, and also I am going to take my medicine. Ouch! Ouch! I really need to be careful with my wounded finger. I just bumped my laptop with it even though there's little force to it. Damn.

I haven't take a bath until 3 pm now. Playing Genshin Impact a bit too much. Also It's raining again. 

As I'm walking on the street to the arcade. I thought How great my father is but... Despite I got into incident and run into problems, He usually stick to his professionalism and handle stuff in calm composure like yesterday. The type of straight to the point person. And sometime I am worried that I want me to be more independent and less rely on others but he sometime object it if I am doing something harsh or not putting words correctly. He work and put savings into our family. The livings, rent, college. Yet he have his own hobby like Setting up audio system and make himself a Home theater that I usually help him or observe him back in the days. I never refer anyone as a Chad. But my father is a real one. That's why sometime when I'm about to do something stupid or let him down it just reminds me this. That I should carry on his will and inherit his consistency in doing stuff, As expected, the Mall I regularly go to is at peak customers. I went to autoshop earlier and discussed with the old gamer veteran of WMMT who is also the manager of the outlet autoshop. Discussed about the cabinets that gets maintained and popularity wherebouts. That I can reach there easily. But first, I need to eat at fast food before heading to arcade (at the same time take medicines). RM 16 for a set meal KFC single person doesn't sounds bad at all.

Today was fun at arcade playing Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune, Most of my friends & familiars are all here at one place. We battle each other starting seriously but slowly become a friendly local versus Arcade battle. We intentionally slow down and to brake block and blocking sumo match and we communicate and ask cooperating what we doing. Generally well etiquette between players and players. It's interesting and fun since it's different from usual serious silent versus treatment.

Also met a veteran who is significantly better than us all. After losing twice, and challenged him again and then win twice at his favorite maps. He left afterwards, I didn't mean to scare him away but it does feel satisfying to win a very skilled opponent. I swear, the Subaru Alcyone SVX in this game have great potentials, I should buy gifts for my father when It's time to return back to hometown. But not sure what would it be...

Because of my right hand's finger being injured, and left forearm being injected by vaccine. It feels stiff and a bit weak. I have to becareful with physical activities. I can wash dishes and cook pot. but theres gonna be inconvinience. losing grip of a finger can already affect amount of foce or weight I can carry or perform with. Any activity performed with two hands need to a bit careful, of course its not like im very weak. just minor inconvenience.

There always complications you cannot avoid or You don't know, I saw the kitchen being erradicated by unwashed tools. Cold pots left on the stove. Dirty and oily cooking equipments. Unorganized and messy just doesn't work? What you gonna do? You clean them of course. I guess I will have to do it in careful conditions.I saw a cold cooking pot with some boiled noodles inside with not much water in it. That I will leave it there for now. And there's this another pot which seems to have little leftover seafood and tofu in it. Nothing much but bunch of seasoned soup in it. As if It's need cleanings. So I did, Cleaned up some of the kitchen equipments. And washed the pot. Then CDY comes out and tells me "why did you dump it down the sink? you should have asked me instead!". Like lady, This entire kitchen seems to need some clean up and now you tell me to leave a cold unclean cooking pot with little stuff in it just for you to store your cold noodles? All I just responded with. "You could have told me earlier" and then we don't say anything as we use the kitchen for the next minute. Because I also used the cooking pot I cleaned up for boiling fast noodles.And stuck with this unjustisfied guilt I went in my bedroom silently. I was prepared for any complains that may be discussed with other housemate. What? I should not use the equipment here anymore or be more careful next time?and Now here's come the second complaint. That she messaged it at group chat, I never wanted to escalate the situation that's why I kept quiet. I could argue with it If I wanted to but it's just utterly pointless.

Other housemate hoped in the chat and resolved it to me. She corrected me, Since it's not my equipment. I should not have touched it, If needed to use it. Kindly ask. Which is true. The chat went like this. I translated it from rough chiese so it's not accurate translation. These type of stuff usually happens quite personally. And some involves my error as well. So I don't usually just tell this to my parents as such.

"CDY: Please use your mouth and ask if you need to use the pots, God gave you mouth is for speaking, Not become mute, If you don't use it then throw it away"I have enough of being pressured on so I will have to say something."Me: Oh, So the only person who have mouth is me only? Okay.""CDY: Wow, You didn't even ask. Try to point at it's my problem?Are you stupid?""Me: What about kitchen cleaning?""MZ hoped in the chat and descalate the situation""MZ: Please just settle down and talk this through""MZ: If it's not your stuff. Best if you don't touch it. If you want to use it. Just ask""Me: Okay understood." "MZ: If kitchen need cleaning, can't just dump the leftover at the sink.""CDY: If you just say it once, I will go deal with it. Pfft says the one with mouth is only you. Mpfh""MZ: ok, just calm down and talk this through. Since it happened just be it, just be careful next time."

There's is anger enrages inside my mind. Even though I am like look depressed on the outside BUT I swear to god, next time I want to use anything here. I will talk loudly details by details into your ear. To also remind you to use that mouth of yours to talk back louder than me or probably never ever this much in your life that you will lose your voices and you even have the guts to say those last time using texts to me. Quite pathetics.Why am I the only who gets corrected meanwhile I never corrects you guys and make it that you guys did nothing wrong. That's unfair..Yeah, these thoughts are usually gone away because I don't want to be type of person that escalate everything. There's a good reasons why I am introverted. Just for my own good and safety. Now I pressume our friendship just dropped to the bottom because of this. Great, because we gonna be living under same roof for months.

But still makes me sad because it's still my faults. Why I can never makes the right things? I want you to punch me in the face like you mean it that it's my fault and I will be defensive.

Next time, when we meet in Kitchen. I want hand you the kitchen knife and want you to stab me like you how I dumped your leftover tofu down the sink. Please just end it already.