WhiteGXRoblox's Slice of Journal

6-7 December 2023

Yesterday Was a very weird dream. I remembered that I paid a visit to female gender Apartment and lend me their toilet. And then I was exposed for public exposure decency after they intentionally opened the toilet door then take photo of my undressed. Skips ahead, I was being knocked out by police and news being spread over the local social media even my family heard about it. But theres still flaw in this logic, why did I unconsciously run away instead of discussing with the authority and there wasnt door being locked on bathroom.

The next dream involves a few seconds. Just my dad's second brother bought alot of fruits lay it on table. Ahhh, these dream make my neck hurts when I wake up at 11:23am. My dad, his brother and mom already awake except my brother. I know well later we gonna go back to the funeral place and wear white shirt. Either way, I am staying until 10 December then return by bus.

My mom have to head up to visit my grandmother. Her situation is in very very terrible. Like she's dying and overwhelming by the disease she having, Im afraid to describe this myself. My dad said my mom and her sisters are probably sob alot now. This one I think it's much more expected because of her old age.

Looking into the passed away, sometime the sound of celling fan mimics the sound of breathing. And theres his favorite music digitally playing and prepared by my father. And my grandmother and some of us cried hearing the music over and over again. Most of our nights me, my brother and their sons/daughter follow the Chinese mourning process under buddishm stuff that I can't elaborate here. And as usual, alot of arriving guests come to this location.

Tomorrow which is 7th December will be day for the burial or incinerate method of the coffin. And we all will have to follow by car the next morning. On the other hand, my friends at arcade missed me again. Like cmon it just arcade I just dont come for few days. And the autoshop manager told me probably at end of month there will be one time purchase for unlimited plays within time limit.

Most of the guests returned, some cousins came to visit. My grandmother is still sob about the death of my dad's elder brother. My mom still staying in my second grandparents places to take care of them. 

7 December

The video footage I together captured one of them says they saw the spirit of the passed away through video camera but we guessed it just reflection of a metal plate behind.

The video footage I together captured one of them says they saw the spirit of the passed away through video camera but we guessed it just reflection of a metal plate behind. Everytime my grandmother and my dad go talk to the coffin. They cries, knowing that no matter how much conversation they have, there won't be a response and think back their great memories together. That... is the sadness of our mourning the passed one.

Despite being, my grandmother still sobs whenever theres mouring procedure done near the coffin. The passed away's daughter and sons are mostly performed near it, inside the coffin theres alot of the passed away's belongings. His old clothes and stuff are burned together including the "golds"10 minutes before send off begins. Alot of old friends and relatives come see him.

When my dad cries, I stood by him. And then cries with him. Looking at the portrait, It was the hardest when you have to physically speak out and tell him himself to rest well. And tears are not allowed to drop on him

Even though I dont have the hardest bond, I still feel the sadness myself from all around him. The mourning and incinerate process now begins and goes until 12pm afternoon. We follow him for the last "walk" around the town with his coffin inside the wagon. 

Old friends of his prepared to sing his favourite songs for him. In front of him, It was heart breaking for me. I can't take it and I cried very hard silently and try to fight it with angerTo send out, we walk with the coffin in the wagon along with trail of people behind us. Me and my brother were closer, but we will enter our own car and follow it as convey. There are some interesting conversations happening in between such as the evolution of the funeral.

My dad have conversations with my mom about him passing away was a peaceful one. He returned home safely, not doing work and just leisurely at his house. Probably he doesn't want to give other impression of him hard working to others. So him passing away is a pretty peaceful one.

While dad and mom having conversations about adult serious topic. I will nap in the back while we are on our way to the cliffs for incie the coffin are parting method. Throughout the entire day. The family and relatives went through process of funeral, sending off, offerings, etc etc, bone in jar. So much details its best to not mention it here. Yeah, at near 6pm we will all have dinner.

At evening, most of us returned to rest a bit and take a bath. Clean up the living room, and then go out all have dinner in exquisite meals together. Throughout the day, I find the passed away's eldest son is the most mature one. Although he did cry but he keep up his professionalism and good manners between others & the workers that helps with the funeral. Since I return at Sunday I'll make sure the few days I spend at hometown a bit more worth. Spend time with family and play with my younger brother as such. After I return I will have to focus on my studies of new semester.

Since I return at Sunday I'll make sure the few days I spend at hometown a bit more worth. Spend time with family and play with my younger brother as such. After I return I will have to focus on my studies of new semester. Another funeral is gonna be organized. My father still have to take this despite having to face the tragedy and exhaustion from recent funeral.