WhiteGXRoblox's Slice of Journal

25 November 2023, Family in Shoes

My dad and mother still rant sometime and argue sometime but usually resolve sooner. This happened again when my mother is treating my wound and worry that if it will stain slightly on hotel's bed which is fully white. Either way, My parents brought ready breakfast back and we all ready to check out after bath.

For this day, We head to Zoo Negara. At photo booth, while my parents are deciding which picture to be put on physical portrait. Cost quite a fortune but for this time I convinced my brother I will pay for it this time. Using the money my grandpa gave me, put into good uses.

Throughout the Zoo walk, we took alot of great pictures of animals, family shots, beautiful plantations and stuff but its not overall pleasant because there were rain and my injury needs cleaning that need to be done only when back in the car. Most of the planning & decisions were placed by my father. Of course recently, my brother disliked my dad's idea of not walking back to the main entrance and instead, take cart taxi ride to return. As we wait for available cart. The stand and wait was pretty long. Which is tiring and unpleasant. Either way, Its still good, I havent forget the portrait photo that were spent to take it back as memory for us. For now, My dad is taking us to instrument store to find the Mouthpiece my brother wanted. And then the Gaming Cafe I planned to take my brother too, the time was in bit hurry so it is normal theres a little bit stress of being time wasted.

At Zoo, we were wanting to see real capybara but the land is too big and most of them stays in the back remaining out of seem and we go disappointed. But Guinea pig still are favourite in my heart since are placed in cage that is within our reach with hand to feed them. Either way, Tons of photo were taken with my family.

My brother considered to buy mouthpiece another time for the instrument since I stood by and heard about the quality and sounds etc etc. and not only mouthpiece but other components as well. I also offered my brother that I sponser RM 50 for the purchase since its RM400 above which is alot under his own money. On the way back to parking with my dad my brother bought me a Durian Mochi that I love it eat it. Although he doesn't eat it, since he doesn't like it so only 3 of us in families shares the mochi. The price is only RM20, Next up my dad will follow the GPS route I provided to Gaming Cafe I planned a while then. Before heading back. My dad will take younger brother to buy new shoes in nearby mall. Lastly, And then I will make a pass for my younger brother to visit my suite with my luggage. That will mark great day trip with family and return to studies tomorrow.

Before my family head back to my suite. Things took a depressed turn here, I have no idea whether is it my fault or anyone's fault. It's just I don't understand anymore.It's quite amazing that I still remember the roads (it's only few weeks) that I can guide them near my residence (I cant help much in roads around the cities) We are able to conveniently take my younger brother on his first experience to ride in a Train station, while I am beside explaining and elaborating the benefits and details while boarding with him. Arrived at Bandar Utama's mall to buy him a new pair of sneaker to replace a broken one. We got only lost a bit but still able to find the right store.

My mom still repeatably asks me that If I like this shorts or not. And here comes the problem with my absurd way of response without saying reasons. I keep saying "Yeah I like it, But not like I need it" response like this just makes it pretty complicated. I secretly wanting my family to save some money instead of buying too much stuff for me but it took out a very bad idea. Which is evident to expensive shorts my mother bought me the other day and it is pretty expensive... so I try to avoid expenses too much at necessity things/

My dad sort of have anger issues, that what my mom told me. He tiredly says he is exhausted and should stop wasting too much time shopping, plus. In these 2 days too much money were expenses. So it is reasonably hard on my dad. But my mom insists want to buy medication and bandages for me. Like cotton roll, waterproof bandages till the point we think it's more then necessary just for a wound or injury. But I understand she is just extremely worried about me. Stuff like my dad complaining that sons already gave you answers and you keep insisting want him to buy it because I usually doesnt keep stuff they bought on track to use. Last month I have the whole chicken meal Entirely rotten and leave it for weeks in the fridge. Knowing that I dont really cook meal myself much so it's like a waste to actually buy it for me. Arguements with dad keeps going until I go on hard reject on not buying the damn small sterilizer spray bottle which is only RM5 cheap. Even my brother agrees with my dad that his wound back then is not even adhesive bandaged and heal on it's own It is very heated and sad going within the family right now I refuse to elaborate or detail it too much here. So we straight head and luggage my stuff on my own to my suite. Mom show me a picture of her terrible wound back in the days saying 

"This is why you should really pay attention to wound and it's not joke when comes to health."
 This is true because I was feel like going through hell with butt pain other days. For the current atmosphere, This is pretty bitter for family matters. Mom is very saddened. Dad just sigh. I said
 "Fine, I will actually buy one tomorrow, how about that?"

Regarding more elaboration on the laundry drying rack. I refuse the purchase of another Rack after my mistake forgot bringing up for this trip and left it at home. My mom makes a good point that she will use the one at home for interior use and want me to buy myself one the same model instead.My mom also hid the fact she handed me over RM 150 to buy another one Drying Rack for me to my dad. Simply doesn't want my dad to know and raise up the annoyance but I kept quiet about it. Did I just make them oversave and literally want me to not improvise cheap ways or fact that I do not buy necessity stuff for myself...

My dad drove us and Entered the main security check of the condominium land. Still bitter, my dad decides to stay at the car while brother, mom and I walk way to suite and my room. I advised that I should carry my own luggage myself. And do checks before I go,

"I know how you feel, It just I am worried for you""I know that too, but look at us being under rain without umbrella. You will catch a cold yourself""Don't worry, my body is strong. I should worry more about you instead""If you do worry alot about me, why you didn't cover me with umbrella so I don't catch a cold?"

Damn man, You tried to shut her down. It is serious bad. For the suite, My mother stay below and goes up with my brother for me to visit my bedroom. We did not stay long and drop my luggage at my room. My brother still managed to glance over the room whilist being not too loud as I told him to not annoy my housemates too much.

Originally, My family will return right away after having me back at suite. My heart instantly comes up, Things are not good, not like this. This is too bitter for a farewell. I decided, I will grab an umbrella and head down to my mom. Mom and dad is below the block, as we walk back to the car, my mom is crying.. my dad knew his mistake and signaled me to cover her with umbrella and comfort convoy her feelings with arms hugged around her. I understand well that she is just worried about me.

I lied my mom that I always buy what I need and will take care of myself dearly like I always said. That I will buy drying rack tomorrow, as conversation with my mom goes it is much more reassuring and she stopped crying. Then continues gives me advices heartfeltly, This seems like dramatic in the movie, but I still followed it. As my family enter the car and exit the security gate.I silently tap on my brother's shoulder and tell him "Take care two of them (dad and mom)" ,stood by and smile goodbye to them. They were happy, For me. I have to keep up my hard smile to keep them leave a happy impression to them that I will live well myself here. Afterwards they are Off returning back to their home. I cried hard and silently under the rain and in the shadow.That I endured the tears watching my mom and dad argues. Misses them. And lied that I will never forgive myself that I live in not entirely healthy lifestyle. And fake my smile that I was happy on outside. IM SUCH A PATHETIC MAN.

For a very long time, I cried as 20 years old man. Feeling like a child or cry baby as an adult. I never cried and show to anyone like that since I grew up. I lay at bed without organize and unpack up my luggage. Reminding the stuff the joy and the pain I went through together with my family.Because tomorrow, I will organize my luggage, reposition my closet, registering for second semester to be ready back to study in college, then buy the stuff my mom requested me to, pick myself back up at Wangan Midnight regular step at a time. My friends missed me at arcade, Yes. I will be sure I will tomorrow. End of November, Here I come.

I remembered the other day that we were tired from walking back to hotel for 2.5 KM instead of taking a Taxi that cancelled on us. Yes, the same day my dad correct my etiquette in talking to people. It is certainly experience, The traffic being too slow and cars stuck at traffic jam for long time. Originally waiting at rich people's Hotel with bunch of high performance expensive exotic cars outside the main entrance and some car owner start up and keep revving keeping the crowd eye gazed. Funny is that they got stuck at traffic as well regardless how fast your car can go. Youre as good as the Van behind you.

Bonus: I havent tell my dad about me planning to buy myself GL310 capture card for recordings in WMMT arcade. But recording using phone with tripod my dad gave would be more practical and doesn't want my dad to know too much my addiction at an arcade game that burns money.