Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Eating Disorder ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

I haven't eaten in 3 days and my girlfriend JJ doesn't know since we've been on a case this past week. There's nothing new about it, I had been struggling for a while and had struggled with eating disorders in my past but it was getting really bad.

"JJ and y/n, go to the crime scene and search for evidence." Hotch ordered.

Once JJ got up I went and talked to Hotch. "Is everything ok?" He asked once he saw my expression.

"Yeah um...I'm not feeling that well." I told him truthfully. "I can still work but I'm uh...I'm kind of lightheaded and I don't think I can be outside in the field."

"Ok, that's fine. Reid, go with JJ." He turned back to me. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm probably just dehydrated."

"Ok, sit down, I'll get you some water."

"Thank you." I sat down at the conference room table and saw JJ standing in the door. My heart stopped. She didn't know about anything, she probably thought I was avoiding her. To be fair, no one knew about my struggles with eating disorders but I felt really bad hiding it from JJ.

"I thought you were coming with me." She said.

"No, I'll stay here and do the geographic profile."

"Ok." She looked confused and a little hurt. "I'll see you later."

"Mhm."

A few hours later JJ came back with Reid and lunch for the team. She sat down next to me at the table and handed me a sandwich. "No thanks Jayje, I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself." She grabbed my sandwich and started eating it.

"Y/n?" JJ's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Are you ok?" She leaned forward on the table and turned her full attention to me.

"Yeah." I looked away from her and stood up. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Ok."

A few days later we were making our way back to Quantico on the jet. I was sitting on the couch and JJ walked across the jet to sit next to me. "I'm glad to finally be going home."

"Me too." I breathed out.

"Y/n."

"What?"

"Are you ok?" I turned to her and I saw concern written all over her face. "You've been acting off since the start of this case, and I'm getting worried."

"I'm fine." I smiled at her and she nodded, but I could tell she didn't buy it. "I'm tired, I'm going to try to get some sleep." She nodded and I put my head down on her lap, spreading my legs out across the couch. She started playing with my hair which helped me fall asleep within a few minutes.

When we finally got back home we were both exhausted. "Someone please tell Hotch we need a vacation." She groaned, flopping down onto the bed.

"Yes please." I flopped down next to her and kicked off my shoes, getting under the covers.

"You aren't going to change?" She asked. I looked at her awkwardly and got off the bed, grabbing clothes from my closet.

"Can you leave while I change?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"Why? I've seen you naked before?" She asked, thinking it was a joke.

"Babe...please." She walked over to me and looked into my eyes.

"Y/n, there's something you're not telling me." She sounded hurt. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You can talk to me."

"I said I'm fine. I'll just sleep in this."

"Ok." She sighed and we got into bed together. She hesitantly put her arm around my torso and pulled my back to her front. I could tell she wanted to say something but she wasn't. I didn't want to press so I just closed my eyes and fell asleep.

A few days later I was sitting on the couch on my phone when JJ sat next to me. "Hi." I breathed out, sensing that she wanted to have a serious conversation. I put my phone down and looked at her.

"Are you ok?" She asked me in the most serious tone I have ever heard her speak in.

"Y-yeah."

"Y/n."

"What?"

"I'm going to ask you again, are you ok?"

It took me a minute to answer but I eventually did. "No."

"Ok, can I ask you something else?" I could tell that she knew, she just wanted to be gentle about it.

"Mhm."

"Why haven't you been eating?" I felt her hand brush against mine and I grabbed it, wanting some form of comfort.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Honey, I think it's important that we do." I could tell that she wasn't going to let this go. "You can talk to me." Her voice became more gentle and caring which almost made me start crying. She felt me hesitate and sighed, putting her other hand over ours. "Y/n, I'm here for you."

"I know." My voice cracked.

"So talk to me honey."

"It's just...it's something I've struggled with for a while and I relapsed, that's all."

"Don't act like it's not a big deal." I looked back at her eyes and I saw that they were watering. She blinked the tears back and squeezed my hand. "How long have you been struggling with this?"

"Since I was 14."

"14?"

"Yeah."

"Honey...why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because I was doing fine."

"Baby-"

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore Jayje."

"Ok, that's ok." She nodded and I looked away once I saw her eyes fill with sympathy. "I'm here for you y/n. Please talk to me if you need to, ok?" I nodded and looked back up at her. She read my expression and wrapped her arms around me, letting go of my hand.

"Thank you."

"I'm always here for you y/n. It's going to be ok."