Jennifer Jareau Imagines

I Didn't Ask For It ⚠️

⚠️ RAPE ⚠️

Reid and I flipped through the suspects records. Once he was done he stared at me. "What?" I put my last record down and looked back at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

"Nothing." I chewed the inside of my cheek and looked back at the records.

"Y/n." He looked at me with his cute eyes but I just sighed.

"It's not important."

"It is if it's bothering you." He took the records out of my eyesight and then I looked back at him. "You know...you can talk to me."

"I know Spence, but I don't need to talk."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you take a break?" Without saying anything else I stood up and rushed to the bathroom.

I leaned against the counter and stared down at the ground, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. "Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry." I whispered to myself.

"Sweetheart are you in there?" JJ asked softly from the other side of the door.

"Yeah." I said weakly.

"Can you come to my office?" I opened the door and looked everywhere but her eyes. I followed her to her office and sat down across from her at her desk. "Reid said that he's concerned about you."

"Ok."

"I am too."

"Ok."

"So...what's going on?" She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"We're supposed to be working on a case right now."

"Don't worry about that. When an agent is struggling, I help them, especially when that agent is my wife." I nodded and looked towards the door, leaning back in my chair. "Honey?" I looked at her with tears in my eyes. "What's wrong?" She leaned forward and held her hands out. I grabbed her hands and she squeezed them tightly. I looked towards the door and opened my mouth. "No one can hear you. It's just me." I nodded and turned back to her.

"It's um...three months."

"Three months since what?" I took a shaky breath and looked up at the ceiling.

"I don't know." I shook my head and looked back down at my feet, taking my hands away.

"Yes you do, y/n what's wrong?" She moved her chair so she was sitting side by side with me. She put her hand on my thigh and I flinched.

"Don't touch me there."

"Honey." Her voice was low and she held her palm out for me to hold. "You were raped weren't you?"

"I don't want to talk about it?"

"But it happened didn't it?"

"I didn't ask for it."

"Sweetheart, I never said you did." She pulled her hand away.

"I didn't want it to happen."

"I know, I know you didn't." She put her hand on my shoulder and a tear fell off my face into my lap. I shook my head and held my face in my hands while my elbows rested on my knees. One of my legs shook so it shook my whole body.

"Calm down." She put her hand on my back and I looked up at the wall.

"I didn't ask for it." I said again.

"I know honey. I know you didn't ask for it, no one does." She put her arms around me slowly and kissed my cheek. "I love you." I took in a shaky breath at her words. "Sweetheart?"

"What?" It came out as a whisper.

"Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"About what?"

"About what happened."

"No."

"Why?"

"Let's just stop talking about it." I tried to get up to leave but she stood up and pulled me in for a tight hug. I put my arms around her waist and relaxed into the hug. I buried my face into her neck and squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from coming out. "I don't want to talk about it." I whispered.

"We have to-"

"No." I pulled away from her and looked at the ground.

"Ok, ok. We don't have to right now." She held her hand out for me to take and I did after a few seconds of staring at it. "Do you want to go back out and help Spence?" I shook my head. "What do you want to do?" I looked down at the ground again. "Ok, why don't you just stay in here for a little bit? I'll stay with you." I nodded hesitantly and then sat down with her on the couch. "I love you."

"I love you too."