Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Just A Little More ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

JJ grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight as my leg bounced up and down. "You alright?" She whispered as Hotch congratulated us all on the case. I nodded and stared at the table.

"I'm cold." I whispered.

"Want my jacket?"

"Do you need it?" I turned to look at her.

"No. I'll be fine, you have it."

"Thank you." She nodded and handed me her jacket. I put it on and then rested my head on her shoulder. She put her arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I felt Hotch and Prentiss's eyes on me so I turned to look at them. I raised my eyebrows at them, not knowing why they were staring at me.

"Y/n, can I talk to you?" Hotch asked.

"Sure." I stood up and looked to JJ who gave me a confused look. I just shrugged and then walked to the back of the plane to talk privately with Hotch. "What's up?"

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, what?" I crossed my arms and clenched my fists.

"When was the last time you ate?" He repeated, searching my face for a reaction.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Why aren't you answering the question?" I clenched my jaw and looked down at the ground. "Y/n?"

"I haven't eaten in two days but don't tell Jayje."

"Why?" I looked back up at him and blinked back tears."I know it's not what you want but I think it's important that she knows."

"How did you even know? We're not supposed to profile each other." He sighed. "Do you think JJ already knows?" He shook his head.

"She respects your privacy. I can tell she knows you're acting off but she doesn't know." He sounded sincere so I nodded.

"I don't want her to know."

"Why?"

"Just...I don't want it to be something else she has to deal with." I bit my lip.

"She's not going to look at it that way." I hesitantly nodded. "I understand if you don't want to tell her. But if you're not going to get any help you better hug her and tell her that you love her because you can't live like this." And with that he walked away.

I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath before walking back to JJ. I sat back down in my seat and hugged her arm before resting my head on her shoulder again. "What did he want to talk to you about?" I looked to Hotch who gave me a small nod.

"I'll tell you later."

When we got back home JJ and I both got dressed and then I sat against the headboard, waiting for her to get into bed with me. She put her hair up in a bun before sitting next to me. "What is it?" She asked, sensing I wanted to talk about something. "Do you wanna talk about what Hotch was talking to you about?"

"Yeah." I nodded and wiped my sweaty hands on my sweatpants.

"Ok, what did you guys talk about?"

"He wanted me to tell you something."

"Ok?" I hesitantly reached for her hand but she gladly took it and put her other hand over it. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I just don't know how to say it."

"Take your time." I nodded and took a deep breath.

"I...I don't really have the best body image right now." I started, looking up at the ceiling. She rubbed my hand and kissed my shoulder, leaving her lips lingering there.

"I'm sorry honey." She mumbled against my shoulder. "You wanna talk about it?"

"That's not everything."

"Oh." She lifted her head back up and furrowed her brows while looking at me.

"I'm just...I'm not really eating a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't eaten in two days."

"Honey...you can't be doing that." She kissed my cheek and I sniffed while holding back tears.

"I know." I whispered. She put her hand on the side of my face and caressed it, turning so that her whole body was facing me and then she turned my head to face her.

"Is it ok if I get you something to eat?"

"Yeah." I said after a couple seconds.

"What do you want?"

"Not pasta."

"Is cereal ok?" I nodded and she left.

She came back a couple minutes later and I wiped the tears off of my face. She sat down in front of me and handed me the bowl. I took a couple reluctant bites and then set it down. "Just a little more, ok?" She whispered. I nodded and took a couple more bites before setting it down on the nightstand. She pulled my legs down and then straddled me before cupping my face in her hands. "How are you feeling? Talk to me." I shrugged and leaned forward, resting my head on her chest. "It's ok honey. You don't have to know, just know I'm here for you, ok?"

"Mhm."

"Hey, talk to me though. What are you thinking?" She scratched my head and rubbed my back.

"I need help but I don't know what kind of help I need."

"That's ok. What do you think you need right now?"

"Support I guess." She rested her chin on the top of my head. "Can you just stay here with me please? I don't really know what I want to do right now or what I need to hear but I really don't want to be alone."

"Of course honey. And I want you to know that I'm not judging you, and I'm not mad at you. I'm really glad you told me and it's going to get better, ok?" I nodded and she kissed the top of my head, resuming giving me head scratches. "You're not always going to feel like this."

"Ok."

"And I don't want you to be ashamed when you relapse, because it's going to happen. It's part of the process of recovery but it's going to be ok. I promise." She kissed my head again and then lifted my torso up. "Come here." She pulled me in for a hug and I buried my face in her neck. "It'll be ok." She repeated, caressing my back with her thumbs while she held me. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Can we just stay like this?" She nodded and kissed the side of my head again.

"I love you."

"I love you too."