Jennifer Jareau Imagines

I Need To Tell You Something ⚠️

⚠️ RAPE ⚠️

"Are you ok?" Spencer's voice brought me back to reality and I looked up at him from across my desk. He looked genuinely concerned but all I did was nod. "You've been staring at your desk for the past 15 minutes and 26 seconds, usually you only space out for 3 minutes and 11 seconds but-"

"I get it Spencer." I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk, holding my face in my hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound rude."

"It's ok." He said genuinely. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." I shook my head and lifted my head up. Memories flashed through my head and I struggled to fight back tears. The worst thing that had ever happened to me had happened about a month ago and I hadn't told anyone. It was weighing on me and the more I thought about it the worse I felt.

"Ok." Our eyes met for a second but I immediately looked away, taking out my phone. JJ was in a meeting right now but I knew that she would answer her phone.

Y/n: Hey
JJ: Hey honey
Y/n: How much longer until your meetings over?
JJ: Probably 20 minutes
JJ: Why?
JJ: Is everything ok?
Y/n: Idk
Y/n: I need to talk to you

I put my phone down for a second and took a deep breath before picking it back up after it buzzed. My anxiety was spiking and my hands were trembling slightly, making it hard to type.

JJ: Ok, I'll text you when my meetings over
JJ: What do you need to talk about?
Y/n: I'll tell you after your meeting
JJ: Are you sure everything's ok?
Y/n: Idk Jayje
JJ: Ok :( I'll text you when I'm done
Y/n: I love you
JJ: I love you too :)

"Was that JJ?" I heard Spencer's soft voice.

"Yeah."

"Are you going to talk to her." It took me a second but I nodded. "That's good."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting differently the past 28 days and I can tell that something significant happened. By the way you and JJ have interacted with each other you haven't told her anything and she has no clue anything is wrong most likely due to the fact that you're scared to tell anyone anything important related to your mental health."

"Damn. You're not pulling any punches are you Spence."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok." I gave him an assuring nod and a soft smile.

20 minutes later I got a text from my girlfriend.

JJ: The meeting is over you can come up now

I walked up to her office and knocked on the door once before walking in. I shut the door behind me and smiled at JJ, feeling increasingly nervous about telling her. I knew it was the right thing to do but I hadn't told anyone. "Can we sit on the couch?" I asked. She nodded and we both walked to the couch, sitting down.

"What did you want to talk about honey?"

"I need to tell you something." I looked her in the eye, knowing it would be harder if I didn't.

"Ok, what is it?" I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together. When I took a deep breath she put her left hand over my arm and caressed it. "Do you need a minute."

"I think so." I looked down for a second and took another deep breath.

After a minute I looked back up at her and nodded. Her eyes softened as she saw the nervous look on my face. "I'm not going to be able to say it straight up so I'm going to have to lead up to it." I rambled, trying to make it less awkward.

"Ok, that's fine. You can tell me anything, there's no need to be nervous." She gazed at me lovingly and continued to caress my arm. Her words comforted me a little bit so I was able to finally say something.

"For the last month I've been a little..."

"Different." She finished my sentence.

"Yeah."

"I noticed but I know you don't like to talk about your mental health so I've given you some space. Is that was this is about?" I shook my head.

"Not really."

"Ok...then what is it?"

"I've been acting different because...because I was raped around a month ago." Her mouth dropped open as she tried to find the words.

"I'm so sorry." She blinked back tears. "I would've given you more support if I knew."

"I know."

"Honey...why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't think I could."

"Come here baby." She opened her arms and pulled me in, rocking us back and forth as she kissed the side of my head lovingly. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not ok." My chest clenched when I heard the pain in her voice.

"I'm sorry for not telling you."

"I'm not mad about that sweetheart. I'm mad about the fact that it happened." I nodded and she moved her hand so it was resting on the back of my head to hold it against her protectively. "I'm so sorry that happened my sweet girl. Do you want to talk about it more?" I shook my head and she kissed it again.

"Ok. That's ok honey." I felt a single tear fall down my cheek and I buried my head into her neck. "Thank you for telling me sweetheart. I love you so much." I nodded into her neck and pulled her tighter against me, in desperate need of comfort. "It's ok. I got you, I'm right here baby."

After a couple more minutes I pulled away from her and she cupped my face gently in her hands. "I love you so much. And I'm here for you, alright?" I nodded and she wiped away a stray tear that had fallen. "You're not alone in this, ok?" I nodded again rested my forehead against hers, hesitantly going in for a kiss. She smiled and leaned in to peck my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."