Jennifer Jareau Imagines

I Had A Friend ⚠️

⚠️ SEXUAL ABUSE ⚠️

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath as I tried to think through the first time my best friend had touched me.

We were sitting on the couch together, close, sides pressed against each other. He reached under the blanket, I thought it was to grab my hand but instead he put his hand high up on my thigh. His sister was sitting in the chair across the room. What if I said something? Would she stop him? Would he want to be my friend anymore? I tried to move to get his hand off of me but he gripped my thigh tighter.

I opened my eyes, blinking back tears. I looked up ways to get past trauma and something that apparently helps people is to try to think through the trauma, but I couldn't do it. I had thought about telling people before, but they probably wouldn't believe me. We were both minors at the time so people would just say it was two kids experimenting, except I didn't have anything to do with it. It was all him.

"Hi sweetheart." JJ said, walking into our bedroom and putting her hair up into a ponytail.

"Hi."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." She sat down next to me and grabbed the remote.

"What do you want to watch?"

"I don't care." I rested my head on her shoulder and she rested her head on my head. She put on Little Women and then kissed the top of my head.

"Wanna cuddle?" I nodded and she put her arms around me, pulling her close to her as we moved up to the headboard. I moved onto my side to cuddle into her. She draped her arm over my waist and rested her other one on my shoulder, caressing it slowly.

Fifteen minutes passed and she kissed my forehead. "Are you feeling ok?" She paused the movie and kissed my forehead again. I let out a sigh and shut my eyes for a couple seconds, debating on whether or not to tell her. "Honey?"

"Can I tell you something."

"Of course, you can tell me anything." She rubbed my arm.

"So um...when I was younger I had a friend..." I trailed off, playing with ber shirt. "He was uh...he was my best friend, I loved him but he...he would touch me in places where I didn't want to be touched." I felt her stop breathing for a second.

"Where baby?"

"Like...the places only you touch me." I felt her take a shaky breath in.

"Do you want me to kill him for you because I will do that." She said powerfully, like she was mad. I could tell she meant it.

"I don't...I don't want you to kill him Jayje." A tear fell down my face and onto her shirt.

"Then what do you need from me honey because I'll do anything."

"Just...be here for me."

"Ok, ok, I can do that."

"I really wanted to tell you earlier. But I felt like I couldn't. Not because I didn't feel comfortable telling you...I just, I felt like I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, and I didn't know if you would even believe me since we were both 16."

"Honey, of course I would believe you." She kissed my forehead. "And I'm really glad you told me my love. I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me this."

"Yeah." I breathed out, adjusting so that my whole body was lying on top of her. She put her arms around me, holding me securely against her. "I need this right now. This is all I need."

"Ok, I'm here if you need anything else."

"Thank you so much."

"Of course sweetheart." She rubbed my sides gently and kissed the top of my head. "I'm here for you always. I can't promise I won't murder him." I laughed softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too baby. Always."