Jennifer Jareau Imagines

I Insist

I cuffed the unsub and walked him the the cop car. Another officer took over and I looked to JJ for a second before going back to the federal car. I got into the passengers seat and stared straight ahead. JJ got into the drivers seat and started to the car. "Honey? Are you ok?"

"Can you just drive?" I whispered, closing my eyes and turning my head to look out the window.

"What happened in there?" She asked softly, putting her hand on my knee. I didn't answer and pushed her hand off of my knee. She didn't ask anymore questions.

Once she parked at the jet and got out of the car I just stayed there. I saw JJ and Hotch talking while looking at me through the tinted windows.

A couple minutes later JJ opened my car door and knelt down next to the car on her knees so our heads were more level. "Everyone's on the jet already." She put her hand out if I wanted to take it and I hesitantly did. She squeezed my hand comfortingly. "Can you talk to me? What happened in there?" That's when I broke down.

Heartbreaking sobs came out of my throat and tears streamed down my face. She kissed my hand, knowing that I was too disoriented to process any words she would have to say even though I knew that she wanted to just hold me and tell me it was going to be ok.

My sobs kept going for another 10 minutes until JJ helped me out of the car. "You feeling better?" She asked. I just shrugged and we walked onto the jet together, sitting in the back across from each other so we were away from anyone else. I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked out the window. "I think you should take some time off of work." It took me a second but I turned my head to look at her before shaking my head. "I think it would be beneficial." I shook my head again. "Y/n. I insist." I knew there was no point in fighting so I just looked out the window again.

"How do you know it would be beneficial?" I asked in a whisper.

"Because you're obviously not well enough to be out on the field."

"You don't even know what happened."

"Because you're not telling me." I felt a lump form in my throat. "I want to help you any way I can honey but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's wrong." I dropped my face to my knees and didn't talk to her the rest of the way home.

I sat down on the foot of our bed with my head in my hands. I felt the bed sink next to me and I turned my head to look at JJ. "Sweetheart, I'm not going to pressure you into talking...but I don't know how to help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"It's um...I saw the dead girls. Well, what was left of them." I took her hand in mine gently for comfort. She squeezed it and put her other hand over ours, caressing them. "The way he looked at me...the way he spoke...it just reminded me of my dad." My voice broke and I leaned into her.

"It wasn't him honey."

"I know." She kissed the top of my head. "But I feel like it could've been. If we hadn't had to kill him." She squeezed my hand tighter and I blinked away my tears.

"Do you want to talk about it anymore?" She whispered. I shook my head. "I want you to remember that you're not your dad, ok?" I nodded. "And what he did to you doesn't make anyone love you any less, especially me. I love you so much." I blushed and buried my face in her shoulder while climbing on top of her to straddle her. I wrapped my arms around her neck and let out a sigh I had been holding in. "Do you need anything from me?"

"I'm not going to be able to sleep." I whispered. "So can we cuddle and watch Gilmore Girls all night?"

"Of course sweetheart." She scooted so that she was leaning against the headboard and then turned on Gilmore Girls. I turned around in her arms so I was leaning against her front and sitting in between her legs. Her arms held me protectively around my belly and her chin rested on the top of my head.

"JJ?" I whispered after a couple hours.

"What's up baby?" She paused the show and I turned around in her arms.

"Can you just hold me now?" She nodded and I rested my head on her shoulder, putting my arms around her neck again.

"Are you ok?" She whispered, kissing my temple.

"Not really." I admitted.

"What's wrong?" She gave me back scratches with soothed me a lot.

"I don't even know. I just don't feel like myself at all."

"What else?"

"Are you going to be with me when I'm taking the break from work? Or are you going to be in the office. Because I don't want to be by myself all day, I don't think that's going to help at all."

"I'll work from home. And I won't go on cases." I nodded and relaxed a bit. "You won't have to be by yourself. You don't have to go through this by yourself."

"Thank you Jayje."

"Of course sweetheart." She kissed my cheek. "You're my first priority. Always." She kissed my cheek again and I closed my eyes, starting to get sleepy. "You gonna fall asleep?"

"Mhm." She smiled and held me tighter.

"You're adorable. Sleep well honey. I'll be here when you wake up."

"I love you." I mumbled, sleepily kissing her neck.

"I love you too sweetheart."