Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Personal Trainer ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

I hated him. I hated him so much. I had hired a new personal trainer who was supposed to be really good, so I paid a lot for him. He's not worth it. I sat down on the foot of the bed with my head in my hands, my whole body aching from the workout an hour before. There were bruises all over my body from I don't even know what. My phones vibration snapped me out of my thoughts.

Chris: Don't forget, 500 calories a day. Any more and our workouts are for nothing. I know how much you want to lose weight.

I threw my phone across the room, letting out a shaky sigh when I heard the front door close. I pulled on a hoodie, not wanting JJ to see all my bruises.

"Hey honey." She said tiredly as she opened the door.

"Hi." I gave her a small smile.

"I was going to go out with Pen for some coffee in a little bit, wanna come?" She asked.

"No. I'm tired."

"Oh yeah, you met with Chris today. How was it?" She was excited that I was able to book him.

"It was good." I said vaguely.

"And?"

"And nothing. It was good." I wiped my sweaty hands off on my sweatpants. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Ok, I'm going to shower. Remember to eat honey, you need fuel for the rest of the day after that workout."

"K." I got under the blankets and sighed as I got comfortable.

"Wanna join me?"

"I already showered but I can just sit there I guess." I got out of the bed and winced as I walked into the bathroom. I sat down on the counter and swung my legs back and forth as she got undressed.

"You know...I was thinking." She said, walking towards me in a bra and panties. "There's no use in showering if I'm just going to get sweaty later." She put her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately. I usually smiled into her kisses but this time I didn't.

"I'm not really in the mood." I told her as she started to kiss down my neck.

"I can make it quick." My heart sped up as she reached for the bottom of my hoodie.

"Stop." I slapped her hands away.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry." She cupped my face in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. But I really am tired, I'm going to take a nap." I got off of the counter and went back to bed.

I woke up to the sound of the tv. JJ was sitting next to me with a messy bun and a t shirt and shorts. "How was coffee with Pen?" I asked, resting my head in her lap and curling up into a ball.

"It was good. She was sad you didn't come though. Did you eat?"

"Yeah. Tell her I said sorry."

"It's ok." She played with my hair and watched her show.

"Jayje..." I trailed off.

"Hm? What is it honey?" She paused her show and I sat up slightly.

"If you took a really great opportunity but as you pursue it you find out it's not what you wanted, would you keep following it till the end or would you drop it?"

"Why? What is this about?"

"Nothing." I shook my head and put my head back down into her lap.

"Are you ok? You seem really sad today."

"I'm fine."

"That's the fakest 'I'm fine' I ever heard. Come on, talk to me, what is this about?" I sat up and rested my head on her shoulder. She rested her head on mine.

"I don't like my personal trainer." I played with the cuffs of my sleeves.

"Why?" She asked curiously.

"He's just...I don't know." I sighed. "He's like really overbearing and critical and it really gets to me sometimes." I expected to be anxious when I talked to her about this but I felt completely calm.

"What does he say to you?"

"Well...when I told him what my goal was when I first met with him I told him I wanted to lose weight. And now he's making me keep a diary of everything that I eat and all of the calories."

"Does he get mad if you don't?"

"Yeah. At first I left things out because he only wanted me to eat 1200 calories a day and then he told me he knew I was lying because I was fatter."

"Honey...1200 calories? That's the minimum."

"I know."

"Are you eating more than that?"

"There's more to the story." I grabbed her hand and started playing with her fingers. "Since he found out I was leaving things out now he only wants me to eat 500 calories a day."

"Are you doing that?"

"Yeah." I said weakly.

"You can't be doing that." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "You need more food."

"But I've lost weight. It works."

"But you're not losing fat." She explained to me. "You're losing muscle. He should know that." I started tracing the lines on her palms.

"I keep getting bruises."

"Where?"

"Just everywhere." I lifted up my sleeve and showed her a couple. She kissed them and then kissed my lips.

"You don't have to see him anymore, ok? I'll take care of it don't worry. Right now you just really need to give your body some good rest, and have some food."

"Can I eat after another nap?"

"Yeah." She nodded and then I lied down comfortably on my side. She lied down too and opened her arms. I smiled and snuggled into her. "If it costs your happiness, it's not worth it. Remember that, ok?" I nodded.

"I love you."

"I love you too."