Jennifer Jareau Imagines

They're Me ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM, PANIC ATTACK ⚠️

My leg bounced quickly as Reid, JJ and Garcia discussed the case. My mind was somewhere else completely and I wasn't processing anything that he was saying. "You ok?" JJ whispered into my ear while putting her hand on my bouncing leg and caressing it comfortingly.

"Mhm." I put my hand over hers and held it.

Another minute passed and I was getting increasingly anxious. "Excuse me." I whispered before slipping out of the room and to the bathroom. It took me a minute to find the bathroom since I had never been in this Police Department before.

Once I found it I shut the door behind me and leaned against the sink, trying to steady my breathing. I jumped when I felt a hand on my back. "Relax honey, it's just me." I heard JJ's voice and relaxed a little bit.

"How did you get in here?"

"You didn't lock the door." I nodded and took a deep breath, starting to get my breathing under control. I wiped the sweat off of my hands on my pants and held them together tightly to stop them from shaking. "What's going on?"

"Jayje, can we not do this right now?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it." She looked me up and down and pursed her lips before parting them.

"Y/n. Talk to me." It sounded more of a command than a question so I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes. "Hey." She warned.

"I'm sorry." My voice wavered as I looked down at the ground.

"It's ok." She put her hand on my arm and rubbed them up and down. "Talk to me." I but my lip and squeezed my eyes shut as I tried not to cry. "You can tell me anything." I tugged at my sleeves and pulled them down.

"I can't."

"Honey, just talk to me." It sounded like she was pleading.

"The victims are all like me."

"What do you mean?"

"They're me."

"No they're not. You're right here, you're safe."

"JJ...they um...they do what I do?"

"What do you mean?" I looked back up and wiped away a tear. Her eyes widened as she realized what I meant. "Y/n, can you roll up your sleeves for me?" I shook my head and crossed my arms. "Why not?"

"I don't want you to see."

"Honey they could be infected, we might need to get you to the hospital."

"What if he kills me?"

"Why are you worried about that?"

"It's just...it's a way to hurt without killing yourself." I put my hand over my mouth. "It's something private, something people look down upon but not something people find so disgusting that they would kill over. I don't feel safe here."

"But honey, you're an FBI Agent-"

"I know but it's just, when something so personal can get you targeted, I don't know how to explain it Jayje." Tears started flowing down my face and she put her arms around me.

"Hey, it's ok. It's ok. I got you." She rubbed my back and kissed my neck. "Can I ask you some questions?"

"Mhm."

"When did you start?"

"A couple weeks ago." I admitted, not letting go of her.

"How often do you do it?"

"Like every other day." I heard her sigh softly. "I'm sorry."

"No don't apologize." She whispered, kissing my temple. "But we do need to get you to the hospital."

"I don't want to go."

"We need to see if they're infected honey."

"Ok, fine."

"I just want you to be ok, I'm not trying to force you to do something that's going to make it worse." I nodded.

"I love you Jayje."

"I love you too y/n. You're gonna get through this, ok?" I nodded into her shoulder. "It's going to be ok."