Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Stressed As Fuck

I fiddled with my necklace as I stood in front of our dresser. I didn't know why but I was feeling really stressed. The kind of stress where you know if it were to get any worse it would just send you over the edge into a downward spiral. JJ was sitting on our bed reading, not super aware of anything happening in my mind. "Baby?" She asked softly, I heard her shut the book and move forward a bit.

"Yeah?" I turned around.

"What's wrong? You've been standing there for 15 minutes." I shrugged and she smiled slightly. "You're stressed aren't you?" I nodded. "Come here." She opened her arms to me and I walked over to her slowly. I cuddled up to her and rested my head on her shoulder. She was about to ask me a question but our bedroom door barged open, it was our son, Henry.

He got into bed next to us, cuddling up to JJ on the other side. We listened to him talk about his day while I played with the strings of JJ's sweatpants. JJ noticed and took my hand in hers, caressing it slowly. It was one of my anxious habits and she was always so comforting whenever she saw it happen. "When is Jack coming over?"

"In twenty minutes...I think." JJ nodded and ruffled his hair. "Can I cuddle with you guys before he comes over?" He asked with his puppy eyes.

"You know I would usually say yes buddy, but we need to talk about something important." She said, kissing his forehead.

"It's ok. I'll watch some tv." He hopped off of the bed and shut the door behind him.

"What's got you so anxious baby?"

"I don't even know."

"Is it just one of those days?" I nodded and she squeezed my hand. "You're so tense honey." She rubbed my back and kissed my forehead, trying to get me to relax. "Wanna do some breathing exercises?" I nodded, my chest feeling tight. "Ok, just take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds, focus on the breath in your lungs and then let it out slowly." I did as she told me and did it a couple of times. "Now just take some slow breaths, focus on relaxing your muscles every breath you take." She watched me intently as I did as she told me.

A couple minutes passed. "Do you feel a bit better?" She asked.

"A little bit." I sighed, still feeling the familiar anxious tightness still in my chest. She brought my hand to her mouth and kissed it.

"Do you think a warm bath will help?"

"No."

"Do you know what will?" I lifted my head up and when she saw the look on my face her eyes softened. "I know that look." I smiled softly and took my shirt off, lying down on my back. She smiled and kissed me sweetly. "I wish you didn't feel like this baby." She kissed down my neck slowly and lovingly before reaching my stomach. I let out a blissful sigh and tried to focus on the sensation of her affection instead of my anxiety. She reached for my hand, knowing I needed even more comfort and then after a couple of minutes of kissing all over my body she kissed my lips again. "Better?"

"Mhm."

"You sure?"

"Can we just cuddle? I really don't know what to do." She nodded and lied down on her back. I snuggled back into her and sighed and rested my head on her shoulder.

The door opened again and it was Henry again. "Look at what Jack made!" He exclaimed, holding up a paper airplane.

"That's really cool buddy." JJ said, I wiped a tear off of my face.

"Why is mom crying?" He asked, dropping the airplane and jumping onto the bed. JJ looked down at me and saw another tear falling down my face.

"Henry, why don't you go and try to figure out how to make a fighter plane?" JJ suggested.

"Good idea!" He hopped off of the bed and shut the door behind him again. JJ put both of her arms around me once he left and kissed my forehead.

"It's ok honey. It's ok." She stroked my hair and kept her lips pressed against my forehead. "I got you." I hid my face in her neck, not wanting her to see my tear stained face. She sighed and rubbed my back. "You don't have to hide from me babe."

"I don't want you to see me when I look so pathetic."

"Honey, you're not pathetic." I didn't say anything else and she just held me, knowing that that's all she could do right now.

She occasionally kissed my temple and adjusted me so I was lying completely on top of her. "I'm right here my love. I know cuddles make you feel better, so cuddle me the best you can."

"That's the dumbest sentence I've ever heard."

"Doesn't matter. Just do it, ok?" I smiled against her neck and put my arms around her, hugging her tightly and then I tilted my head up so she could kiss me.

"Thank you for always trying to make me feel better." She kissed my forehead.

"There's nothing I'd rather do."