Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Skinny ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

I looked up the stairs and sighed, putting my hand to my for head, feeling slightly dizzy. I had been taking these weight loss pills for the past few weeks that were supposed to go into my blood stream and help me lose fat. I had lost 20 pounds so far and I loved it, but it was coming with a few side effects. I had also gotten my stomach stapled to keep me from gaining weight. "You coming?" JJ asked from up the stairs.

"Yeah, give me a second." I took three steps up the stairs and then collapsed.

"Y/n?" She rushed down the stairs and I felt her hand on my shoulder before everything went black.

I woke up in a hospital bed with JJ holding my hand. She was talking to a doctor. "Why am I here?" I asked, sitting up.

"We need to get your stomach pumped, and get you taken into surgery." The doctor explained.

"No." JJ was looking at me with tears in her eyes as I answered. The doctor sighed.

"If you don't go into surgery and have your stomach pumped, you will have to live off of an IV filled with nutrients."

"Ok."

"You're fine with that?"

"Yes."

"No, get her into surgery." JJ pleaded. "I don't want to lose her."

"Please don't." A tear fell down my cheek

"Honey, please." She squeezed my hand and her voice broke.

"I can't."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because then I won't be skinny anymore." A few tears fell down her cheek and she gave a nod to the doctor.

"She's going to be here for a couple days ma'am, it'd be best if you return home." The doctor started wheeling me out of the room and my heart shattered when I heard JJ's sobs.

Soon enough I was under anesthesia and unconscious.

Three days later JJ drove me home from the hospital. She had hugged me tightly for a few minutes when she saw me but we hadn't said anything to each other. I was too nervous and I think she was just sad.

We both got out of the car and I bit my lip as I held back tears. "Babe?" JJ called out when I wasn't following her.

"Why'd you have them do the surgery?" I asked.

"Because you would've died." She sighed and walked over to me, caressing my cheek. "I got rid of those pills you have too." I leaned forward and rested my head on her chest. "It's going to be ok-"

"No it's not." I lifted my head up and pushed past her, walking into the house and up the stairs to our bedroom, sitting at the foot of the bed as tears streamed down my face.

"Y/n-"

"I did that so I would be happy with my body." I told her. "And now without that...I don't know if I ever will be again." She frowned and a tear fell down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. "I don't want to make you cry...so can we just stop talking about this?"

"You could've talked to me." It came out as a desperate whisper. My head fell into my hands. "You didn't have to go through that alone." She put her hand on my knee.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't feel bad about it honey. Please just...I want to be here for you, but I can't do that if you don't communicate. I didn't even know you had your stomach stapled."

"I did it when you were out drinking with Em and Garcia. I got home before you did." I whispered. "I'm sorry." I added once I realized that was a little harsh. I lied down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Are you ok?" She asked. "I know that might be a stupid question but...are you ok?" I shook my head.

"I'm tired."

"Ok, then sleep." She lied down next to me and put her hand on my chest, burying her face in my neck. I fell asleep within a few minutes.

Three weeks later

I was in my office at work, tracing my scars from my recent surgery. I frowned as I realized how much weight I had gained. I heard someone knock on the door. "Come in." It was JJ. "Hi."

"Hi. I got you some lunch." I stared at the bag she brought me and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I can't eat that." Her smile fell and she put the food down, walking over to me. I knew how sad I looked but I didn't care, it was JJ, I didn't have to lie to her. Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them away. "I ate this morning." I assured her.

"You can eat it. Nothing bad is going to happen if you do."

"You don't know that."

"I do." She smiled slightly. "I do know." I put my arms around her waist and rested my head on her chest. She rested her chin on my head and rubbed my back. "It'll give you more energy."

"I don't want to eat it." I looked over her shoulder and saw that the rest of the team were staring at us. I let go of her and took a few steps back.

"Y/n...please." I shook my head and sat back down in my chair. "Can I at least stay with you? I wanna make sure you're ok."

"Can you close the blinds?" She looked out the window and saw everyone looking.

"Honey they're just worried about you."

"They shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"You're not honey." She pulled up a chair next to me and rested her chin on her fist. I looked over at her with tears in my eyes. She reached for my hand and held it. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." She nodded. "I'll stay here with you, ok?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime." I rested my head on her shoulder and I felt her body relax. I squeezed her hand, letting her know I was alright.

"I love you."

"I love you too."