Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Are You Staying? ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️

I walked into the office with a huff. Today marks the two month anniversary of JJ being transferred to an office in California and I missed her so much. Neither of us had been able to go and visit each other so we haven't seen each other in 2 months. I missed her like she was dead but she was very much alive. "Y/n!" Penelope squealed, rushing over to me. "Oh no. You look sad." I sat down in my chair and raised my brows, willing her to go on. "What's wrong? What can I do?"

"Nothing. Unless you can magically bring JJ over here from California." I turned back to face my desk and sighed. I hadn't been doing too good the past five weeks or so and I hadn't been able to talk about it with anyone, making it even harder. By the time JJ got off work it was time for me to go to bed and I already have a hard time communicating how I feel.

"Well...you know the new team members coming today." Penelope said.

"Yeah. I know." I heard the elevator ding. "Is that them?"

"I think it is." I sighed and didn't turn around, not having the energy to meet someone new.

"Honey?" I heard JJ's voice from behind and I looked behind, tears coming to my eyes when I saw that it was actually her. She had a huge smile on her face and I rushed over to her, throwing myself into her arms.

"I missed you so much you don't even know." I whispered against her skin. She held me tightly and rocked us back and forth.

"I missed you too honey." She kissed the top of my head and was about to let go but I cling onto her.

"Don't let go, please don't let go." She put her arms back around me. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't realize everyone walking away at the same time after JJ signaled for them to do so.

"Are you ok?" She asked softly. I didn't answer, just squeezed my eyes shut. "Sweetheart?" She rubbed my back and I pulled away from her a little bit.

"Are you...are you staying?" She nodded.

"I'm coming back." I smiled widely and she kissed my forehead. "Wanna go up to my office for some privacy?" I nodded and we walked up to her office hand in hand.

She shut the door behind us and smiled. I knew she wanted to say something but was trying to choose her words carefully. "One of the reasons Em was fighting so hard to get me back was because she realized how much you were struggling." I frowned, knowing where this was going. "I know usually you opt out of talking about it til later, but...I really think we should talk about it now."

"Why?"

"Because she said she was getting a little scared." I looked back into her eyes and saw that they were filled with worry. She reached up to touch my face and I looked away from her again. "Can you show me?" She said in a small voice.

"Show you what?"

"Can you roll up your sleeves?"

"No, what do you mean?"

"Honey, I need to see if they're infected-"

"Nothings there." I took my hands out of her reach but her stern look made me give them back. She rolled up my sleeves and I winced. "Can you be a little more gentle?"

"I'm sorry honey." She said sincerely.

"How did you even know?"

"I know you, and I happen to be a profiler." She looked up from my wrists with a smile and I gave her a weak smile back before looking back down at my wrists. I wanted to curl up into a corner and hide. It felt like my biggest secret was being shown or it was like I was completely naked in front of everyone. She sensed my hesitation and squeezed my hands. "It's ok."

"JJ I-" I froze as the door swung open and I heard Penelope's voice. "Y/n?"

"Garcia, please leave." JJ commanded. The door shut and I was finally able to pull my hands away from JJ. "Honey-"

"I didn't want anyone to know." I looked up at her with sad eyes and she frowned. "I love Pen...but she can't keep a secret."

"I can go talk to her." I nodded and she walked away.

I didn't see JJ much until we got home. We went to the bedroom and she immediately knew what I needed. She opened her arms and wrapped me into a comforting embrace. She then sat down on the bed and pulled me legs over so I was straddling her thighs. She lied down so I was basically hugging her with my legs and arms. "Are you ok?" I shrugged and kissed her neck softly. "Y/n."

"No. But it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok." She played with my hair and kissed my temple every so often. "I'm glad I can hold you again." I tensed up and gripped her shoulder tightly. "Y/n?"

"Sorry." I tried to relax my body.

"It's ok." Her fingertips lightly brushed over my  arm and I finally relaxed. "It's ok." She repeated.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you're back." I could tell she was smiling by the way her breathing changed. I kissed her neck again. "Good night Jayje."

"Good night baby."