Jennifer Jareau Imagines

What Is That? ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️

I sat in JJ's home office chair while waiting for her to get home from a meeting with Em and Garcia.

I stared ahead, not moving when I heard the front door open. She walked into the office and stopped when she saw me. "Honey, why are you in here?" I turned to face her with a frown on my face. She walked over to me quickly and knelt down to my level. "Y/n, what's wrong?" She sounded more worried than she had ever sounded before.

"Can you hug me?"

"Yeah, of course, come here." She opened her arms and I stood up, quickly throwing myself into her arms. "What's wrong honey?" She kissed my temple and walked back to me. "Please talk to me." I didn't respond and shut my eyes tightly. "Honey?" When I didn't answer again she pulled away. "Hey, look at me." She held my face in her hands and caressed it. "What's wrong?" I shook my head and she frowned.

"I don't wanna talk about it." She kissed my forehead and I put my hands on her wrists, letting my arms dangle. My sleeves fell down and her eyes flickered down to my wrist. She pulled her hands off of my face and grabbed my wrist.

"What is that?" She asked softly. I shook my head. "Where did you get that?"

"It's nothing."

"Honey it's obviously something." She pulled my sleeves up even further, revealing a couple more cuts. "Did you do this to yourself?"

"Yeah." My voice broke. "I was trying to not do it...that's...that's why I was crying."

"Why would you do that to yourself?" She laced our fingers together and kissed my hand. "Y/n?"

"I don't know." I whispered, knowing if I talked normally I would start sobbing.

"Ok, can you come with me?" I nodded and she grabbed my hand, guiding me to the bathroom. "Can you sit on the counter?" I nodded and did as she asked. "I need to check to make sure none of them are infected, is that ok?"

"Sure." She rolled my sleeve back up gently and grabbed my hand, inspecting every cut.

"Y/n...these are really deep." She told me as she inspected them. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and my lip trembled. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, it's ok." She pulled me sleeve down and then held my face in her hands. "I'll help you find coping mechanisms so the next time you feel like hurting yourself you know what to do." I nodded and she wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek, leaving a kiss in its place. "I'm glad that you came to me, or at least tried to."

"Yeah." I smiled softly and leaned my forehead against hers. She put her arms around me and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around her waist and my arms around her neck.

She set me down on the couch and sat down next to me, facing me and tucking my hair behind my ear. "Do you need anything?" She gazed at me lovingly while I just stared at my hands in my lap.

"No."

"Ok, can I hug you?" I nodded and leaned into her so she could put her arms around me. I relaxed in her embrace and she eventually lied down so I was on top of her.

I played with her fingers with a frown on my face. "Are you asleep?" She asked.

"No." I sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know." I stopped playing with her fingers and just held her hand. "Thank you for caring about me."

"You don't have to thank me for that." I shrugged and she pulled me up so my face was buried in her neck.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that?" I didn't answer. "It hurts me to know that you're in so much pain the only way you can think of to help is by hurting yourself."

"I'm-"

"Don't apologize." She kissed my temple. "I'm here for you. You don't have to apologize for how you feel or how you cope with your feelings." I reached for her hand again and she gladly took mine, caressing it.

"I love you." I whispered to her.

"I love you too. You don't have to do this alone, ok? I'm right here." I nodded. "I love tou so much."