Jennifer Jareau Imagines

It's Ok, It Happens To Everyone

I sat down next to JJ's chair in her home office, leaning against her desk and staring blankly at the wall. "Honey?"

"Hm?"

"You feeling ok?" She stopped typing and looked down at me.

"Mhm." She sighed and got off the chair, sitting down next to me. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her cheek on them as she turned to look at me. I bit my cheek.

"Honey...somethings clearly bugging you. So...can you tell me how to help you? You don't have to tell me what's wrong."

"Can you just keep talking?"

"Like a distraction?" I nodded. "Ok, well, Spence just emailed me asking when you're coming into work again, he misses you. I was thinking that maybe you and I could go to dinner tomorrow night, just us two. Date night?" I shrugged. "Order in?" I shrugged again. "We can go shopping sometime soon, get you some more coffee and I'll buy a few more sweatshirts that you can wear once they smell like me." I continued to stare blankly at the wall. "Honey?"

"Hm?"

"Can you say something other than hm?"

"Hi."

"Hi. What's going on in your brain right now?" She said, trying to start another conversation since I didn't smile or show any reaction when she tried to bring up things we could do.

"Annoying things."

"Like what?"

"I feel like I can't move."

"Why?"

"Because then the anxious energy is going to move to other parts of my body and I'm trying to ground it in one place so I don't get overwhelmed."

"Why are you anxious?"

"I don't know." I breathed out, hanging my head down. She put her hand on my upper back and rubbed it in a circle. "How is it possible to be anxious about stuff when I don't even know what I'm anxious about."

"It's ok. It happens to everyone. Just take a few deep breaths honey." I did as she told me to and shook my head a minute later when it wasn't working. "Count to ten slowly, and then count down. Do that multiple times and whenever you get to 0, tell yourself that you're safe and that you're ok." She put her arm around my shoulders and watched me with worried eyes as I did as she said.

I did it three times and then opened my eyes. "That worked a little bit. Thank you." I gave her a shy smile and she smiled back.

"Anytime. Do you need anything else?" I didn't say anything, just slid my hand into hers, lacing our fingers together. She started caressing my hand and stared at the wall too. "Are you still anxious?"

"A little bit."

"I really wish I could do something to take it all away."

"Me too." I rested my face in my knees. "Oh God my heart's going crazy again." I took a shaky breath and lifted my head up.

"Shh, it's ok." She whispered soothingly. "I'm right here, just focus on my voice. I'm right here, there's no need to panic, I'm right here. You're ok. Take a few deep breaths, relax, I'm right here baby." I nodded and took a deep breath, holding it for a couple of seconds and then letting it out. "Sweetheart, come here." She opened her arms and I leaned into her, she put her arms around me and stroked my hair.

"I want to know the scientific reason that this happens."

"Reid can probably help you with that. But he's gonna worry. You bottle up all your stress till you get home, he doesn't see any of it, he doesn't know that it's normal for you."

"Well I don't need him to know that. I have you to talk to." I buried my face in her neck and squeezed my eyes shut. She hummed and kissed my forehead. She started to pull away so that she could pick me up but I clung to her. "Wait no no no don't move." I said desperately.

"Honey-"

"You're protecting me from it." She smiled and put her arms back around me, picking me up and taking me to bed. "Don't let go. I'm hiding."

"It's ok. I'll protect you from it." She said while staring down at me lovingly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I love you and you're being adorable right now." I smiled and she kissed my forehead. "I won't let go. I'll keep you safe."

"Thank you."

"No problem. I love you."

"I love you more."