Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Party ⚠️

⚠️ PANIC ATTACK ⚠️

I played with my stress ball while trying to block out the sound of the music downstairs. I heard a knock on the door and I rested my chin on my knees, pretending not to be in here. It was my birthday party and the whole team was here but I had had a bad day and wanted to be alone. "Y/n, I know you're in there." It was JJ.

"Go away."

"I just want to make sure you're ok. You've been in there a while."

"I'm fine."

"Baby-"

"Go away." I repeated.

The door opened and I stared straight ahead. I moved my jaw back and forth while I tried not to cry. She sat down next to me. "I told you to go away." I whispered.

"It's your birthday. You shouldn't be alone."

"I want to be alone."

"Baby...what's wrong?"

"It's all just really overwhelming." I said, letting my stress ball drop to the floor so I could put my head in my hands.

"What's overwhelming?"

"It's so loud down there and there's too many people...I don't know what's wrong, I love parties. I like the party I do...I just...I don't know what's happening Jayje I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize, it's ok." She kissed my temple and put her arm around me. "It's ok." She told me again.

"But you planned the whole thing for me and got everyone to come...I feel really bad."

"Don't feel bad. I want you to be ok, and if tou staying up here is better and more relaxing for you, then stay up here, ok? You come first." I sighed. "Can you look at me my love?" My breathing was starting to get uneven. "It's ok, it's ok, I promise, I'm right here." I looked at my shaky hands and her eyes softened.

"Don't go."

"I'm staying honey." She kissed my temple. "Take a few breaths with me, ok?" I reached for her hands and she caressed mine softly and slowly.

"I...I need...can I hear your heartbeat?" I asked between deep breaths.

"Of course my love, come here." She patted her chest and I dropped my head against it. She let go of my hands to cradle my head against her chest. My ear pressed against it and my breathing slowed once she heard my heartbeat.

I clutched her shirt in my hands and wished them to stop shaking. I lifted my head off of her chest and held out my hands to her, showing her how they were still shaking. She took them in her own hands and kissed my forehead, holding them until they stopped shaking. "Thank you." I mumbled.

"Of course honey." I let go of her hands and hugged myself while leaning against her. She put her arms around my body and held me close to her.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"No baby, don't apologize." She said with a sympathetic voice. "It's ok, I'm here for you, you don't have to hide from me my love." She kissed my temple and I put my arms around her waist, needing to be held.

"I don't wanna go back down. Please don't make me go back down."

"You don't have to go back down honey." I had never had an episode this bad and it was freaking me out. It was like if I got anymore stimulation than what I had right now I would be sent into an anxious spiral again.

"Thank you for being here for me and not getting mad."

"Honey I would never get mad at you for this. Never." She assured me. "It's not your fault and I never want you to feel uncomfortable. It's ok. I promise baby."

"Can we get into bed?" She nodded and picked me up, placing me on the bed as she lied down next to me. I immediately snuggled into her and she put her arm around my shoulders.

"Are you feeling better?"

"A little bit. I just really need you right now so please stay."

"Of course." I buried my face in her neck and felt my whole body relax once she started rubbing my back. She pulled the covers up over us and whispered loving things into my ear until my breathing slowed. "I got you." She covered my ear with her hand so I couldn't hear the music downstairs and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you so much."

"No problem. I'm always here for you, ok?" I nodded. "Always. I love you."

"I love you too."