Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Passed Out ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

"He has to be in here." I whispered to JJ and Morgan, the neighbors had called less then three minutes ago saying that they heard a gunshot and we had found the body but the suspect was nowhere to be found. "JJ." I whispered.

"What?"

"I see something." I said, turning towards the kitchen. The front door was still open and the rising sun was illuminating the room. I walked slowly towards the door and then saw a man stand up quickly and run. I holstered my gun and started sprinting after him. I heard JJ and Morgan's heavy footsteps behind me as we all followed in pursuit.

I sprinted all the way down the street and around the corner until I started to feel lightheaded. I stumbled a bit as I swerved to the side, but I caught my footing and kept running.

I chased him down an alley and my knees buckled as I fell against a dumpster before everything went black.

"Y/n...y/n? Goddammit she's not waking up Morgan. Morgan she's not waking up!" I heard JJ's panicked screams and tried to open my eyes. "Somethings wrong. She's not waking up!"

"Hey, JJ. It's going to be ok. A medic will be here in a couple minutes." I heard Morgan's calm voice.

"She just fell, and now she's not waking up. What the hell happened? I don't know what to do!"

"JJ, it's going to be ok." I opened my eyes slowly and saw her. staring down at me with wet eyes.

"Oh my God. She's awake!" JJ cupped my face in her hands and kissed me sweetly. "Oh my God honey you were out for 10 minutes." She pulled me up off the ground and into her arms. I rested my head on her shoulder and she pulled me up, getting me to walk. But as soon as I did I collapsed and everything went black again.

I woke up in a hospital bed. I heard my heart monitor beep slowly as I sat up. JJ was looking at me from across the room with a worried look in her eyes. When I looked over at her she walked over to me and sat down on the foot of the bed. She put her hand on my legs and rubbed it up and down. "Do you know what happened?"

"I passed out."

"Do you know why?" I shook my head even though I knew. "You passed out from lack of food. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No." I said truthfully. She already knew so what was the point. Her phone rang and she picked it up and silenced it.

"Why haven't you been eating?"

"That's not important."

"Yes it is." I shook my head. "Don't try to say that it's not because it is." I tried to talk over her but she kept going. "If you're not eating you need to get some help for that honey, you can talk to me about it and we can get you to speak to a therapist but I'm not going to let you not talk to anyone about it." Her voice got increasingly louder as I tried to talk over her and tell her to stop.

"Jayje I..." I trailed off and put my face in my hands.

"Why aren't you eating?" She repeated.

"Why are you asking me that you already know why."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, you know about eating disorders and you know how they develop...you just. You know JJ, don't make me say it."

"Ok, ok. I won't make you say it."

"Thank you." She put her finger under my chin and lifted it up gently.

"I love you." She whispered before kissing my face. "You're beautiful-" I turned away from her and shook my head.

"Don't do that right now JJ. Please don't do that."

"Ok." She nodded and grabbed my hand. "You need to eat." I shook my head. "Honey, you need to. Your body needs food to function." I shook my head again. "Yes honey."

"No."

"I'm going to get you something." My heart started beating really fast when she left the room.

She came back 15 minutes later with ravioli and my heart dropped. "Here." She placed it on my lap and I just stared at it.

"I'm not eating that." I whispered.

"Yes you are." She grabbed the fork and got a bite for me, putting it up to my mouth. I turned away from her and she sighed. "If you're not going to eat this what are you open to eating?"

"Applesauce."

"Applesauce?" I nodded. "Ok, that's not great but that's something." She patted my leg and stood up. "I'll be back."

She came back a couple minutes later with a cup of applesauce. She handed it to me and I took it, taking a bite. She sat down on the foot of the bed again and watched as I continued to take slow bites.

When I was done I handed it back to her and she threw it away before coming back to me. "What is it?" She asked when she saw the look on my face. I reached my arms out to her and made grabby hands. She put her arms around me and I rested my head on her shoulder. She rubbed my back and I closed my eyes.

"I'm really tired Jayje."

"Ok, get some rest." I nodded and lied back down on the bed, falling asleep within a couple minutes.

A few days later JJ and I were both laying on our bed, watching a movie. I had refused to eat anything other than applesauce and vegetables. I looked at JJ and saw that she was intently focused on the movie. I cuddled up close to her and nuzzled my head into her neck. She paused the movie and put her arms around me. "You ok baby?" She kissed the top of my head softly. I just shrugged and stared at her neck. "Have you eaten yet today?" I shook my head and she kissed my head again. "I'm going to get you some food." I nodded reluctantly.

She came back a few minutes later with ravioli. Again. "Jayje, I can't eat that." I sat up and put my arms around my stomach.

"You can't or you won't?"

"I can't."

"Yes you can honey." She gathered a bite for me and put it up to my mouth. I shook my head and pushed it away. My heart started beating quickly as my mind ran through all the possibilities of what would happen if I were to eat it. She sighed and put the food down. "Can you please just take one bite?" I shrugged and looked down at my hands. "You look really sad right now honey...do you wanna talk?" She moved the food to the nightstand and moved closer to me.

"I just want a hug." She nodded and put her arms around me, holding me lovingly. "I'm really sorry if I'm making you frustrated." I whispered.

"No baby, don't apologize."

"It's just...all of it keeps running through my head all the time, how much calories are in it, how bad it is for me, how much weight I'm going to gain and it just terrifies me." She nodded and rubbed my back.

"Don't feel bad honey. You don't have to explain yourself unless you want to, I'm not mad or frustrated. I promise." I nodded and she pressed loving kisses to the side of my head.

After a minute she tried to pull away but I didn't let go. "Honey, why don't we just cuddle?" I nodded and let go of her for a second to let us readjust. I buried my face into her chest and she wrapped her arms around me, kissing the top of my head. "It's going to get easier, ok?" When I didn't answer she rubbed my back. "I know it seems hard right now but can you trust me on this?" I nodded and closed my eyes.

"I love you so much Jayje." I mumbled.

"I love you too honey."