Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Trouble Sleeping

"Good morning." JJ whispered once I lifted my head off of her shoulder.

"How long until we land?"

"We still have another hour." I nodded and leaned back against my seat.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"A little bit. Coffee kept me up." I nodded and let out a deep breath. "What's up?"

"Definitely not me." I laughed softly and looked down at my hands.

"What woke you up?" She stroked my hair and kissed my temple. I shrugged and rested my head on her shoulder again. She put her arm around me and rested her head on mine.

"What time is it?"

"Around midnight." I sighed and bit my lip. "What's wrong?"

"Can I have some coffee?" I asked, pointing to her unfinished cup. She nodded and I took a few big sips.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" She started stroking my hair again and moved it out of my face so she could see me better.

"I just want to sleep."

"Then why are you drinking coffee?"

"Because I don't want to be tired."

"But if you want to sleep-"

"Ok, I get it. Just let it be." I put my arms down on the table and rested my head down on my arms. She put her hand on my back and rubbed it up and down.

"Honey, can you talk to me?" I grunted in response and she sighed.

"I'm so fucking tired."

"Then sleep."

"I can't!" I sat back up quickly and hit my head against the headrest.

"Calm down honey." I sighed and put my hands over my face. She grabbed both of my hands and put them into her lap. "What's wrong?"

"Every time I sleep...I see all of the victims that we couldn't save." I whispered, looking at my lap to avoid her gaze. "No matter what I do...and I don't want to go to sleep because I don't want to see them. That sounded bad it's just, they're dead. They're not alive JJ. They're just stuck in my brain and I can't move." My voice started to shake and she cupped my face in her hands, turning my face to her. She wiped off a tear that had fallen and then kissed my forehead.

"It's ok."

"It's not. Because I can't sleep without seeing them."

"Shh, it's ok." I shook my head and took her hands off of my face. "Just try to sleep again."

"It's not going to work." She pointed to the couch and I looked back at her.

"Let's go over there." We both stood up and walked over, careful not to wake up anyone. She lied down on her back and opened her arms. I smiled lightly at her and then climbed on top of her. I rested my head on her chest and started to play with my hair while rubbing my back. "Just try to fall asleep and if you wake up again, I'll be right here, you'll be safe. I won't let go and you can talk to me, ok?" I nodded and hesitantly closed my eyes. "It's going to be ok." She kissed the top of my head and I slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.