Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Don't Open It Till Midnight ⚠️

⚠️ SUICIDAL IDEATION ⚠️

I packed all my stuff into my bag as we got ready to leave the city and go back home. My heart was heavy and I had made the decision that I was going to do it today. The note was in my pocket. When I got back to the house I was going to kill myself.

Morgan drove us to the jet and we all got out. I stayed silent the whole time. I sat down by myself and gave JJ a small smile when she decided to sit next to me. "The team wants to go out for drinks when we get back...do you wanna join us?"

"No thanks." I leaned back in the seat and fiddled with my wedding ring.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Yeah." I looked out the window to avoid her gaze.

"Y/n." She sounded a little hurt.

"I said I'm fine." She sighed and nodded.

Two hours passed and we landed. JJ and I hadn't said a word to each other, we had just sat in a comfortable silence. JJ and I walked off the plane and she went to go join the rest of the team to walk to a bar while I walked to the car. I turned around and called her name. "JJ!"

"Hm?" She jogged back over to me.

"I love you." I told her. I reached into my coat pocket and handed her a necklace with the infinity symbol on it. It was the necklace my best friend had given me before he died. She held it and stared at it blankly. "And I uh...one more thing." I took the note out of my pocket and folded it up. "Don't open it till midnight, ok?"

"What's all this for?" She asked.

"Nothing...just...I love you, ok?"

"I love you too honey, but-"

"You should go, they're waiting for you." She nodded and watched me walk back to the car. I started the engine and blinked back tears as I drove home.

When I opened the door I just stared around the room blankly, looking at all the pictures of JJ and I on the walls and I felt my heart break. A tear slid down my cheek and I shook my head, wiping it off and walking to the kitchen. I opened the knife drawer and tried to wait for myself to stop crying. I didn't want them to find me with soggy clothes and a tear stained face.

Before I could even pick up the knife the front door opened and I turned around, seeing JJ rush over to me. I looked at her with a trembling lip and she shut the knife drawer before pulling me into a tight hug. "I told you not to read it." I whispered.

"I didn't, I just knew something was wrong." She rocked us back and forth.

"How?"

"You gave me the necklace your best friend gave you, and you told me you loved me like it was the last time you were going to say it." I shut my eyes and another tear rolled down my face. She put her hand on the back of my head and on my back, rubbing it soothingly. "I was so scared you were...I thought you were gonna be dead when I got here." I could tell she was trying hard not to cry so I hugged her tighter. I need it so bad.

"Please don't let go." I whimpered.

"I won't. I promise." I started crying into her shoulder and she didn't say anything, just held me like it was the last thing she would ever get to do.

We stood there for a good 30 minutes, I cried almost the whole time and she let me get it out, not caring that my tears were running down her neck or that her shirt was now wet. Once I had stopped crying I pulled away and avoided her eyes. "It's ok." She whispered. "You can look at me, I'm not mad." I looked up at her and she wiped the tears off of my face.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"I know, you don't have to right now." She gave me an assuring nod. "I love you baby." She kissed my forehead. "I love you so much." I felt one of her tears slide down my face and I looked up at her.

"Why are you crying?" I whispered. She shook her head.

"I'm just really glad that you're here." I smiled and I saw her eyes light up. "Do you need anything?"

"I think I just need to relax." I grabbed her hand and walked over to the couch. I lied down on my side and she slid in behind me, putting her arm over my waist and pulling me into her.

We lied there comfortably for twenty minutes until I turned around in her arms. "You ok?" She asked me.

"No." I answered honestly, putting my index finger on her jaw and tracing it slowly, cuddling up closer to her. She kissed my forehead.

"I'm right here, ok?" I nodded and she kissed my forehead again. "Whatever's happening, it's going to get better, you know that right?" I nodded. "And I'm here for you for anything. Anything you need, you can come to me."

"You don't know how much that means to me."

"I do." She mumbled against the top of my head. "I love you so much. Never doubt that."

"l love you too."