Jennifer Jareau Imagines

Were You Crying? ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️

I wiped the tears off of my face as JJ stepped out of the store. I decided to stay in the car because I was feeling anxious and didn't want to be around a bunch of people. She put the bags in the trunk and then got in the car. "You feeling better?" She asked me.

"Yeah." She was about to turn the key for the car to start but she didn't, instead she just looked at me. "What?"

"Were you crying?" Her eyes looked sad. I didn't see any use in lying because she could always tell when something was wrong.

"A little bit."

"Why? What's wrong?" She turned her full body to me, adjusting so her legs weren't crushed.

"Can we go home first?"

"Yes, of course." She started the engine and grabbed my hand, driving with one hand on the wheel.

After a couple minutes of driving a few more tears fell down my face and my throat hurt from holding back my sobs. "I really hate seeing you like this." She whispered, stopping the car in our driveway. I got out of the car and walked to the front door. She followed me up the our bedroom and I sat down on the bed with my head in my hands. She immediately put her arms around me and pulled me onto her lap. "Hey, what's wrong?" She searched my face for any kind of reaction.

"I don't know what to do." I rested my forehead on her shoulder so she couldn't see my face.

"About what?" She put her hand on the back of my head and one on my back.

"Everything." I clutched the bottom of her shirt. She kissed the top of my head.

"I really hate seeing you like this honey, and I really want to help you but I'm gonna need something more specific than everything." When I didn't say anything she put her arms around me. "It's ok if you don't want to talk right now." She whispered comfortingly. "Do you wanna just order in pizza and cuddle?"

"I thought you wanted to make spaghetti."

"Pizzas your favorite."

"Ok." I lifted my head up to look at her. She looked so worried but was still able to smile. I smiled back and her eyes lit up.

"It's only four though so is it ok if we wait a little bit?" I nodded and pulled my sleeves up, looking at my scars and tracing them with a frown on my face.

"It seemed like the right thing to do in the moment...but I don't even know why I did it looking back." I whispered. "Maybe it's just when it gets super bad? Do you know why I did it?" I turned to JJ, a single tear falling down my cheek. She wiped it away and left a kiss in its place.

"That's for you to understand and figure out, not for me to tell you."

"But you do know. Because you're a profiler. And I don't know. And I'm the one who did it, who's also a profiler...does the team know?" She didn't answer, just frowned. "They do don't they?"

"They want you to know that you can talk to them-"

"I don't want to talk to them."

"Why?"

"Because I trust you more than I trust any one of them combined." I rested my head back on her shoulder and buried my face in her neck. She put her arms back around me and rested her head on mine.

"I love you so much." She whispered. My heart swelled at her words, I guess I just really needed to hear that right now.

"I feel stuck."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't felt ok in a while and I don't know what to do."

"What did you do last time you felt like this?" I shrugged. "Didn't you see a therapist? Take some time off work?"

"I don't wanna do that though." She sighed and held my face in her hands, lifting it up.

"It's not gonna get better if you don't put in work for it baby."

"It's not fair that I have to try to be happy. Why can't I just be happy?" She frowned.

"I'm really sorry that you feel like this. I really want you to be happy." She kissed me sweetly and our lips lingered together for a few seconds. I rested my forehead against hers.

"Can you be my therapist?" I half joked.

"I'm not trained but you can talk to me, so sure. I'll try to help you as much as I can. But if it's not helping then do you promise you'll go see a therapist?"

"Yeah." I smiled and she kissed me again, running her hands up and down my sides.

"You need anything?"

"No, I think I'm ok right now."

"Good." She hugged me again and lied down, pulling me down so my head was on her chest. She knew her heartbeat always calmed me. I put my hand under her shirt and traced circles on it, curling up as she held me. "I'm glad you talked to me."

"Me too." I whispered.

"Just don't keep it all to yourself, ok?"

"I won't."

"Good." She rubbed my back and my eyelids drooped as I started to get sleepy. "You tired?" I nodded. "Get some good rest. You deserve it."