Silently Screaming For Help

|Chapter 10 : Early Morning Regrets|

Yawning I opened my eyes as I rubbed at my face, the common room empty as I sat myself up

"Absolutely not, you're staying here" getting brought back down I let out a groan, my head throbbing painfully as I scratched at my skin, clamping my eyes shut tightly

"That's what happens when you drink and take those goddamn fucking pills-"

"Oh just shut up will you? I don't want one of your lectures Nathan" I muttered as I lifted my head up and stared at him, just able to make him out as he stared at me unimpressed

"Whether you want one or not you're going to get one"

"No I'm not" I told him quietly, feeling like absolute shit as I pushed myself up, tripping as I stumbled away, walking down to my dorm slowly as I found it empty with all of the beds made as Lula trotted over and I gently tickled her ears as a strong pain shot through my stomach and I shut the bathroom door behind me as I threw up, just reaching the toilet in time as I doubled over in pain.

"You're alright" Nathan mumbled quietly as my back was rubbed and I dropped my head onto my arm, barely able to breathe as I wiped at my mouth, my whole body shaking as he sat down next to me

"Not all of this was celebrations was it?"

"Of course it fucking wasn't. How can I be celebrating anything when I had my own mother tell me that she wished I wasn't hers?" I asked, barely biting back my tears as I bowed my head, scratching at the back of my neck with my nails as my hands were moved away and I was brought into a hug as my hands started shaking behind his back

"She doesn't mean what she says"

"She does. She always has and always will. She just doesn't care"

"She does care-"

"About Holly and Oscar-"

"And you as well"

"No. She doesn't, she really fucking doesn't-"

"Amelia, I'm telling you-"

"How can you always view things in such a positive way? Why do you always see the best in things? How? I want to know how I can see the better side of things" I said to him quietly, wiping at my eyes as I looked at him as he stared at me for a moment before leaning his head back against the cabinet

"Because I know what it's like to feel like there'll never be any good again. I've been in that dark place. I was just lucky enough to get out of it and see that life does get better" he told me quietly as I looked up at him and he done his best to offer a smile as I hugged him tightly

"I'm sorry"

"Why?"

"Because you don't deserve to go through anything like that. You're too good for this world and deserve everything. You deserve a perfect life" I mumbled to him as he started laughing and looked at me with a smile

"You deserve it more"

"I don't"

"Don't give me that"

"But I-"

"Promise me you won't do anything like this again. Even if it is for a quidditch win. Don't go as extreme as this and go overboard, please Lia. Those tablets you took have killed witches, you're at a higher risk of that since you're asthmatic. Just tell me you won't do it"

"I won't"

"Promise me?"

"I promise" I muttered quietly as he held his pinky out and I let out a laugh as he grinned at me