Silently Screaming For Help

|Chapter 42 : Rants|

"Hello Amelia"

"Professor"

"I must say.... this is a surprise"

"Finding me in a classroom? Am I really that bad of a student?"

"On the contrary, you're one of the smartest-"

"I said bad, not stupid" I mumbled to Lupin as I lowered my bag, looking up at him as he sat down at his desk and looked to me, the defence against the dark arts classroom barely lit, with only a few burning candles dotted about the place

"My mistake. You're not a bad student either, you just-"

"Need to learn to control my temper?"

".... need to ignore the comments"

"It's funny that, you'd have of thought I'd be used to it by now"

"Why would you be used to it?"

"Well, apart from the fact that I hear it all day every day anyway, I also deal with it from Holly on a day to day basis at home"

"You do?"

"Oh of course I do. She's very much both Nadia's and Sirius' daughter, Gryffindor, bigheaded, full of herself, selfish, vindictive.... prejudiced.... overall, just a bully"

"I wouldn't go as far as calling your parents bullies, Amelia-"

"Are you going to tell me differently? Going to tell me that you all were the golden children of the school who would never dare speak ill of somebody or break the rules? Because believe me Professor, I know that isn't true in the slightest. I've seen the memories, I've seen the way you five used to treat the people you didn't like"

"We were young and immature Amelia. We didn't know any better-"

"Not knowing any better isn't an excuse for your actions"

"You're right.... and I regret doing things during my years here, some of the things were terrible-"

"Mediocre"

"I'm sorry?"

"What you took part in was mediocre. You're being dramatic by calling it terrible. What James and Sirius done was terrible"

"Amelia-"

"Am I wrong? Are you going to tell me that they were angels who'd never hurt a soul?"

"I- no, because they did do-"

"You all bullied people. Lots of people actually, quite a lot being first and second years. But you all seemed to pick on Snape the most.... I never seen any remorse from any of you in the memories I've seen. You did it for fun-"

"Amelia-"

"You don't properly understand on that level Professor, and you won't. Forgive me, please, because I do understand that you have been through hell and back and continue to make that journey by yourself every month and have done for your whole life, but.... to bully someone for your own enjoyment. Being bullied and picked on by people who do it for fun is one of the worst things to experience when you already have a lot going on. To bully someone over something that they can't control and have never had power over is just down right pathetic, low and sad. Getting bullied for who your parents are.... how you dress.... where you live..... how you live..... whether you're rich or poor.... how you look.... it hits a certain and specific spot inside Professor. Because you know, deep down, that you have absolutely no control over these things and you get ridiculed for it on a day to day basis. You all bullied people like that, and done so mercilessly" I told him quietly as I stared at him from where I sat in the back corner of the class as he looked away from me before looking around the walls, turning to look at things on his desk before finally looking up

"You came here to rant?"

"It wasn't my original intentions. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have of said any of that-"

"No- no, you're right. You're entirely right-"

"But I'm in the wrong to have of said it in the first place. I should have of just kept my mouth shut"

"We were young. We didn't care, and that's what made us do the things we did and say the things we said" he told me quietly as I looked down at the table, a guilty feeling continuing to grow in my stomach as the classroom became quiet

"What happened to your eye and cheek Amelia?"

"Quidditch is a rough sport Professor. It's an occupational hazard to fall off your broom and get attacked. And to of course come out with a few scrapes, cuts and bruises" I shrugged, lying about the fact I had once again been cornered by Theodore, having felt completely powerless in that situation as I looked to Lupin, finding him staring down at something on his desk wide eyed as he looked at me

"It's past curfew Amelia. You need to head back to your common room"

"But-"

"Amelia please go back to your common room, I have something urgent that I need to sort. I'll see you in class" he said to me as he stood up and walked quickly from the classroom, barely looking at me again as I sighed quietly, grabbing my things and leaving as I walked through the potions corridor, passing Snape who seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact I was walking past him as I stared after him confused before shaking it off and quickly disappearing.