Silently Screaming For Help

|Chapter 168 : Spilling Out|

"What's wrong? You've been awfully reserved and quiet today" Cedric mumbled quietly, a couple of weeks having passed since the second task as Nott's appearances in the hospital wing at night became ever more frequent, last night having been no exception as I sat with the charm covering the cuts and bruises over my arms and throat. Feeling a tap to my shoulder as I lifted my head and looked at him with my eyebrows raised slightly

"Come on, spill"

What?

"Whats gotten you like this?"

Nothing

"There's something on your mind, don't lie to me please, Lia" he pleaded quietly as he gave my shoulder a gentle rub and I stared down at the book on my lap, not moving or giving him a response as he sighed out quietly a couple of moments later as he stayed silent for awhile

"I'm worried about you"

Why?

"Something's seeming different... I just can't figure it out is all"

I'm fine

"Amelia-"

Cedric, please

"Look, I'm sorry, I just want to-"

You have to get to charms

Showing him the board he sat silently before pulling his arm off me as I blinked away the tears that were building up in my eyes and he pulled himself off the bed and grabbed his bag

"I'll see you later Amelia" he mumbled quietly, watching him leave as I wiped forcefully at my face, digging my palms into my eyes and biting my tongue as I stared at the ground with glassy eyes as I laid down, cuddling with a cushion to my chest.

Waking up a little later I heard the voices outside as I sat up, looking at the hand holding the curtain as I peered at the rings curiously, feeling myself relax as Nathan stepped behind the curtain with his back to me, finishing his conversation with Madame Pomfrey before turning and giving me a smile

"Oh good morning, I thought you were still asleep"

I just so happened to wake up

"Did I do that?"

Somewhat, but I don't mind

Watching him saunter over I scooted up on the bed to give him space as he shook his head and sat in the chair next to me as I looked at him surprised before pulling the blanket over me, an uncertain feeling growing as I looked at the expression on his face

"We need to have a chat"

We do?

"Cedric sent me a letter after class. I left practice to make sure I had time to get here" he told me, motioning to his muddy robes as guilt pooled in my stomach and I stared down at the bed

"What's going on, Lia? Something is bothering you and these things eat at your bones and drive your mind crazy if you don't tell people about them" he told me quietly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as I sat still, tears brimming my eyes as I tried to stop my lip from trembling, a minute or so passing as he stayed silent and everything replayed in my head vividly- Theodore's hand at my throat with wand pressed under my jaw... his nails in my skin... the movement of his wand causing cuts to open across my arms and stomach... his hands reaching for the waistband of my shorts. Feeling my heart clench I started sobbing, dropping my head into my hands as the tears ran down my face thick and fast, my chest heaving and body starting to shake as I was pulled over, Nathan now standing next to the bed as I was held against him with my fingers clinging desperately at him as he tried to calm me down, running his fingers through my hair softly

"Tá sé ceart go leor, tóg do chuid ama, Birdy"

After what felt like a lifetime I felt myself settle a little, tears still occasionally running down my face as he sat beside me, his arms still wrapped around me as he rubbed at my skin softly

"Are you ready to talk?" He asked quietly after a little while as he reached past me and grabbed the whiteboard and pen, pulling the cap off to give to me as I held it loosely in my hand, wiping continually at my face as I kept my face hidden in his shoulder as he gently tapped my forehead

"What's going on up here, hm?"

I'm so tired of it Nathan, I'm tired of being in here

"Oh Lia I can only imagine... I think if you weren't here you'd have to be sent to St Mungos and Poppy just wants to keep an eye on you is all"

It's driving me crazy

"I know, it's not much to live off in here..." he admitted quietly while he stared around, straining his neck back to look up at the high ceiling before the curtain surrounding my bed before slowly turning to me

"What else?"

Just him

"...Nott?"

He's everywhere, Nathan. I can't ever get away from him

"You're just remembering it all, huh?" He asked quietly, not able to give him a response as I watched my tears fall and drop onto his cloak, disappearing into the fabric and leaving a small stain as we both stayed silent for awhile, watching the wet patch on his cloak slowly grow

It's not fair

"I know it's not and I'm so sorry, Amelia. I just wish there was something I could've..."

God, sometimes I wish I could be as cruel as him- to hurt him the way he hurt me... I feel awful for craving such a feeling but I tried so hard to be someone he wanted Nathan and instead he done this and now I'm here and I'm stuck and I just want to go home

Throwing the board down onto the bed agitated I covered my face with my hands, digging my palms into my eyes again, determined to not let any more tears fall as he sat silently, wrapping me into another tight hug as I sighed out, my heart thudding against my ribs, feeling as if it were sending shockwaves through my body as I tried to control myself