Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

176. A River of Gloom

I cried for minutes straight. Matthias didn't say a word, and left me alone in the car for a while. The despair I felt was unparalleled, I felt like my own life had ended. It didn't seem right to go on, nothing made sense in that moment.

Matthias came back, opening the car door. "Come. You need to calm down."

I didn't want to move but he insisted, almost pulling my arm. "Eve, I need you to move, come on." I did everything automatically, following him somewhere. We entered the house, and he made me sit on the couch. "Here." He gave me a cup of water.

I saw my hands shaking, I could barely drink it. "Eve, listen. I have some information about... About the body. Charlotte said Ville have tattoos, right?"

"Yes. Did you see it? Is the... The body, does it have tattoos?"

"I can't give you the info about it with more details. I just know they found a body in a lake." I gasped at it and I felt Matthias hand on my back and I pushed him away, raising from the couch. "Eve, I know it's complicated --"

"Complicated?" I screamed. "This is... I can't even tell you what this is. You're telling me the police found a body, a body that can be... No, it's not possible."

"Listen to me. Perkele, listen to me, woman!" Matthias made me look at him, squeezing my arms. "The person who saw the body didn't say anything about tattoos. Well, I didn't have time to ask. So I can't tell you for sure but you need to be calm. I don't think it's him."

"Do you have people inside the police? What did they say? Just call them!"

"You don't need to know details for now. You just have to concentrate in what I'm going to say next. Are you listening?"

It was hard concentrating in anything, I just sobbed. I heard the noise of glass shattering, and Matthias complaining. He stepped over the glass I've dropped on the carpet. "Are you hearing me? I don't think it's him."

"How can you be so sure?" I could hear my own voice, sobbing like a child, words barely coming out.

"Because I don't think anything happened to him. Ville is alive somewhere, but running away from his life. He just decided to leave, that's all."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I've read Ville's file from his rehab. From both times, actually. I bet you never read that. Ville is an egomaniac, needy and weak person. He just needed someone like you, that believed in him to keep on living. It work for a while, right? But now he got tired and decided to disappear because he can't face the truth. He feels bad the band is over now, he can't deal with big changes in his life, he never did. Because he's weak."

I was confused and enraged. "You don't know what you're talking about! Kari, his father, was in the hospital while we were away, that's why he came here to Finland, I already explained that to you! Are you nuts or what?" I advance on him like a furious animal.

Matthias ironic expression made my stomach twist. "You have to accept the idea that he just left you. I wouldn't be surprised, as you're quite annoying and troublesome. Ville just got tired of you, there isn't any mystery to be solved."

"You don't know Ville, don't you dare talking about him like that! It doesn't matter you've read his file, you don't know who he is! Everything you're saying is bullshit, I don't believe that. Ville would never leave the kids. Me? Maybe. You're right in one point, I am troublesome. Probably annoying, too. But Ville has the biggest heart, and a great character, he would never do what you're saying!" Matthias crossed his arms, and waited. He had a cocky expression. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"