Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

82. New Colours Are Born

"Moi." She whispered with a gentle smile on her lips, and I gave her space to enter, the cold from outside hit me, I was wearing only a t-shirt.

I froze a bit when I saw her, but her smile gave me courage to kiss her in the cheek. Maybe my lips lingered more than it should. Her hand rested on my arm and to feel her simple touch on my skin was like her fingers were electrified. She definitely had a spell on me.

"You have bangs." Her hair was different. So that's how you do it, to break a man's heart, you come to say goodbye looking even more beautiful.

She touched it, it almost reached her eyes, her hair was slightly shorter, but still long. "I'm getting used to it."

"It looks good on you." That was a discreet way to say how wonderful she was. You didn't ask but yeah, you look so beautiful, kulta. "Your hair is shorter as well."

"You've notice it. I cut just a few." She smiled shyly. Of course I did, darling. I notice everything about you.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee?"

"Coffee is good."

Anita had left it all prepared, I felt like a spoiled child. I gave her a cup and saw my hands were shaking, I almost dropped it. She held them. "Are you okay?" She asked.

I didn't lie. "I'm not." But I smiled at her.

She looked down at the coffee. I sat by her side and she turned to me. "I spoke to Anita. She's worried about you. You have to take care of yourself, Ville."

"Why? This life ain't worth living. You know, the last time I tried to sing this song, I threw the mic on the floor and didn't come back to finish the gig. It was a mess, people asked for their money back."

She sighed. "Don't say that. Not even joking." The way she said I even felt she cared about my life.

"But tell me, to what do I own the pleasure of your visit?"

She put her coffee at the table, and took a deep breath. "I'm leaving Finland. For good."

So it was true. I couldn't bare to look at her. "Where to?"

"I've received a good proposal from Stockholm University. Work there, and start the doctorate. Crazy routine again."

"That's great. It's all you ever wanted. And you love it there."

"Love is a strong word. I just... It's a good place for me, yes."

"So, the experimental classes at Helsinki Uni didn't work out?"

"Actually it did. I've received a proposal from them as well."

"But you rather leave Finland." And me.

"I have Nick in Stockholm, it will be easier. They have a good program as well, as you know. Here, I know I have Leena, the guys as well, I really love them all." She smiled sweetly. You have me as well, kulta. "But it's different."

"And Henrik."

"Hum, yeah."

"So, you're not with him?"

"No." She replied like it was something obvious.

I was a bit happy to hear it, but it was no use, as she was leaving. I almost said she would have me, whenever she wanted, but probably I wouldn't be here for her, again.

"When do you leave?"

"Within a week. But I'm going back to Brazil first, I'll see my family a bit, I'll spend a while there."