Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

130. Let Me Be So Dead and Gone

I never thought I would hate arriving in Paris. Even the air was bothering me, it was hot and stuffy. My head was exploding, like a jackhammer was working inside of it nonstop.

I called Ville and he didn't answer, so I sent him a message I was in Paris. I waited a bit, but he didn't reply, he was probably busy.

On the way to the Uni, I grabbed a coffee and it helped a bit, I was still on automatic pilot. I felt things weren't important, I lost the will of doing whatever I had to do. Walking around the city wasn't pleasant anymore, I was alerted and watching my surroundings all the time, I looked attentively at police cars, I just felt safer that I understood the language. It's been only a week everything happened.

Only a damn week.

I was hoping not to see Cédric at the Uni. I still had time for my class, so I sat on the café at the Uni and quickly reviewed today's class, I had time to look at it on the airplane but I couldn't concentrate, I was afraid it was sloppy. I hated sloppy works, but everything went fine. At the end of my class, I checked my phone, no reply from Ville. I called again, but I turned it off as professor Durand entered the classroom.

He spoke to me in that fast, specific  Parisian French accent, I always had to concentrate a bit to understand it fully. "Hello, Eve. Glad to see you back. Today I couldn't make to your class, but tomorrow I'll be here, and I'll bring two other professors."

"Okay, I'll be waiting, then."

"They are important professors from the department. I was about to tell you about them, well, I'll introduce you tomorrow. You're gonna like them." Good, more of that annoying social, awkward moments of the academic life. He made some small talk about life in general, how Paris was lifting itself already from its recent tragedies and then he spoke about Céd. "I wonder if you have news on him."

"I still don't."

"He didn't come today, apparently his mother got worse and he rushed to the hospital." I felt bad. Should I call him? One thing had nothing to do with the other.

First, I called Ville again. After three times, finally I had an answer. "Momma."

"Hi, darling. How are you? I miss you so much already."

"Me too. I am playing."

"Where's dad?"

"Here."

"Are you behaving with dad and Marie?"

"Joo."

"That's good, I'm happy to know, sweetie. Can you get dad for me, please?"

She was calling Ville, running in the house. I heard him talking to someone, I couldn't understand with whom.

I heard his breathing, like he was preparing himself to talk to me. "Moi."

"Hi, Ville. I... I called earlier, to tell you I was in Paris."

"Yeah, I saw your message." And he didn't reply, nor call. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, and what about you?"

"It's fine, Charlie is okay."

We stayed in an awkward silence, which was rare. We usually had so much to talk about to each other. "I have to go." Ville said, he was so dry and not willing to talk. "Okay."

"Good night, then."

"Good night. Kiss Charlie for me."

"Sure. Hum, bye."

"Bye." I stayed with my cellphone on my hand, listening while I walked back to the hotel. When I heard the click, I felt anxious, and sad. I felt like things were changing so much between us. He never spoke to me like that.