Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

146. Love Preys the Living

Ville was walking back and forth in the living room. I was drained from the trip, not physically, but from all that happened. He saw me by the door when I arrived, didn't even greeted me, he just grabbed my luggage and dropped it near the couch, and held me by the arms. He didn't kissed nor hugged me, he checked if I was in one piece and asked if I was alright. He had a desperate tone. I nodded, and he waited.

"So?"

I knew he wanted an explanation about this trip to Paris, but I didn't know what to tell him. "Hi, Ville. It's good to see you, too."

He snapped, and the grip of his hands loose. "Sorry for not welcoming you properly. It's because I'm so oblivious to what's going on with you lately that I forgot about that." He was being ironic, I hated when he did that but he was right. And he waited for an explanation that didn't come, and gradually he got mad.

"Of course I am angry! You spent two days in Paris and now you tell me it's because of nothing? You don't have a thing to say to me? Really, Eve? You think I don't deserve any explanation?"

"Ville, please." He was screaming and Charlie was scared. She looked at me with her confused eyes, I bent down to kiss her. "Hi, dear. Mom missed you so much."

When Ville saw Charlie holding me, he backed up and walked away from us. "Charlie, go to the other room play a bit, please." I asked her.

"Mama, why daddy is angry?"

"He's not mad at you, dear. Come. I'll take you there." Ville looked at me, his face blushing from the anger he was probably feeling.

I asked Charlie to stay put, her eyes were getting teary and it broke my heart. "Don't worry, okay? Dad is not angry, we just need to talk a bit. Just watch some Moomin, look, you love them. I'll be right back." She nodded, but she wasn't so small anymore and clearly understood more than we could imagine.

Ville's teeth were clenched, I could see the tension on his jaw. He seemed slightly calmer, and he approached me. He was trying to read me, I flinched when he held my hand so jumpy I was. He got confused. "I'm sorry I screamed, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know." I was so edgy everything was scaring me. He carefully caressed my face and looked really sad.

"Eve. Whatever it is, for all that is sacred. Tell me what's going on. I can't stand this anymore. I thought we would live a life without secrets between us, whatever it is."

"You're right."

"Then why can't you tell me what is happening? Why did you stayed two days in Paris and now you come back like nothing happened? Is it your depression? You wanted to stay away from me?"

I didn't want to lie to Ville anymore. I wanted to bury myself in a hole and stay there until his tour ended. Ville still had a small Scandinavian leg, Sweden, Denmark, and Norway, besides the gigs in Japan and Australia, for which we were very excited to go together before all this happened.

But nothing seemed exciting anymore. I didn't know what to do. I sat down and didn't say a thing, which made him even more nervous.

"You're not going to say anything to me, is that it?"

"Please, just let me be for now." I sounded tired, not as much as I really was.

He sighed heavily. "I will. I will give you space, if you don't want to talk to me, maybe someone else can help you. I'm sorry, Eve. I wished I could help you with whatever it is. I would do anything to make you feel better."

"I will see my therapist."

"Good. Maybe she can help you." Ville sat down by my side. "But I promised to take care of you. And I will. I'm really sorry I screamed at you, I just spent two days in despair, not knowing what the hell was going on with you. I just want you to know that I'm here."