Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

135. The Veil of Broken Dreams

What that meant? Was it a goodbye, or something? No, I refused to think about it. My mind was already playing tricks on me.

Cédric called. "Ville, I'm walking around the area and nothing. I asked some people if they saw her, I showed her picture, no one saw anything. But it's a place too crowded, too many tourists."

"I... I'll keep looking for her around here."

"I think it's no use to search for her where I am. Considering the timeline, I don't think she's nearby. Well, unless she caught a taxi or the subway. I'm thinking in going back to the restaurant area but to the opposite side you are."

"Okay."

"Are you alright?"

"I have to keep looking for her."

I got up and started to walk, a bit lost. I was trying to think in other favourite places, she had some more. I would search in the area just a bit more, as I waited for Seppo.

Maybe this park triggered some kind of trauma on her. But Eve was strong, she suffered so much. I was telling myself she had just lost her cellphone, and was trying to find her way back to the hotel. But why didn't she go back to retrieve her cellphone? We left our numbers in the restaurant in case Eve showed up there. Maybe I should go back and wait for her there. No, I had to keep looking for her, something was definitely wrong.

Kulta, don't disappear on me.

I doubled my pace as I walked, and I started to ask people. Some not even looked at me, maybe they didn't understand English or whatever, it was a bit useless. The disturbing feeling of not knowing where was she, what was happening to her, that led me to a panic that was paralyzing. I stopped and felt weak on the knees, my stomach was twisting and I bent down, I almost threw up. Get a grip, Ville. Eve needs you. I used my corticosteroids medication so I could breath a bit better, but it was ineffective when I was that nervous.

There was this playground area, where kids were playing. That specific place was even more crowded and noisy, lots of children running and their parents around, it was weekend after all. I immediately walked away from that place, the noise was almost deafening.

My heart raced when I saw from a distance someone just like her. Maybe my brain wanted to make me see Eve. As I got closer, I saw the red skirt.

She was sitting on a bench, alone, looking at the children play. Oh, darling. My heart was beating so strong I missed air.

I went near her, but she didn't see me coming. She had that lost gaze Cédric mentioned, and that I saw myself. I was almost in front of her, I got closer slowly so I wouldn't scare her. She finally looked into my direction when I was standing in front of her, and she snapped from her stupor. "Ville."

I held her as she got up, and squeezed her like my life depended on it. "Oh kulta, don't do this to me. My heart can't take it."

"I'm so sorry." I looked at her face, she was so sad. "I..." She looked embarrassed or something. "Tell me, love. What is it, are you okay?" I was watching her, and checking if she was alright, physically speaking.

She shook her head. "I'm losing my mind. I couldn't... I simply forgot how to come back, I didn't remember anything Ville, the name of the hotel nor how to get there. I'm so sorry." She covered her face with her hands, she was ashamed. That got me scared, this wasn't the first time she had a memory lapse. Once, she was at Helsinki University and didn't remember how to get back home, Henrik helped her. She was extremely stressed at the time.

"It's okay, dear. I've found you."

"How did you find me here?"

"I just did, I don't know how. In this sea of people, I will always see you."