Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

140. Your Pain Is Not Love

Maybe she was nobody. Maybe that was just an inspiration, together with those words that made my heart race. I closed his sketch book immediately, putting back in place. I was sure if I looked into other pages, maybe I would find something else. But I didn't want to.

He knew I could see it any minute, he even said I could pick the drawing later. He never bother to hide it from me, so I was probably overreacting. This was nothing, I shouldn't be worried.

Should I?

I went back to my office, and tried to focus on the classes I had to prepare. Dr. Isaksson was very exigent, I had to do my best. Charlie pulled a little table and her toy computer, pretending she was working with me. Sometimes she spoke to me, but my head was in the clouds. "Äiti?"

"Sorry, darling. What is it?"

"I want to see more pictures."

"Later, now mom is working, okay? But remember not to tell your dad, it's a surprise." She nodded in excitement.

I went to prepare Charlie's food and something for us to dinner. Ville arrived earlier, and Charlie ran to hug him. "Oh, dear. I missed you!" He spun her around. "Did you eat already?"

"No."

"Good, I can help you with that. Hi, darling." Ville put Charlie down, and kissed me, resting his hands on my waist. "Everything alright?"

"Yes." I nodded, but I felt bad again about that drawing. I turned back to whatever I was doing, and he was still by my side. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you didn't smile." He had a crooked smile, watching me.

"Sorry, I was just busy. How were things today?"

"Same old. Gas wasn't feeling well, so we stopped earlier, but I had a drink with Alexi."

"Which Alexi?"

"Alexi Laiho, Bodom boy."

"Oh, right."

"Can I help you with something? You look like you have everything done."

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm finishing already."

Ville put the dishes and prepared Charlie to eat. Sometimes that was a struggle, but today wasn't. I guess she missed eating in our kitchen as well. Ville gave her food, I sat and watched them, he was telling me about Lyydia's band. "We won't pay anything, in the end. Apparently she's throwing a tantrum on social media, talking shiii, uh, rubbish about us."

"You mean the band?"

"Yeah. She said we are being unprofessional, and other stuff I didn't bother reading. Seppo is a bit annoyed, he will release a statement about it."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Nah, don't worry."

Charlie went to the living room play while we had dinner. Ville was excited about Helldone and spoke about it all the time. My head was far away, and he realized it. "Are you tired? Sorry, I'm probably babbling too much."

"No, I love to hear you."

"Are you sure?" He smiled, looking at me like he was trying to read my thoughts.

"Of course. Do you want dessert? We still have that chocolate mousse Marie made."

"Sure, but... Let's eat it ourselves, let Charlie play." Ville whispered and I chuckled. "This way we can have a bigger portion. Eat all."

"You're a terrible father!" I laughed and Ville let out his crazy laugh, pulling me to him. "Now that I got used to have you around, I missed you so much today there. I like to see you up there in the stage."