Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

85. Our Hearts Are Made to Be Broken

I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to make sure she would be alright. I was worried if she was feeling sick, having nightmares, or anything. The way she was sleeping, so curled up, made my heart ache. She seemed so fragile, but in matter of fact, she endured so much. Eve was far from being breakable, but I would always worry.

Now that I had time to stop and think, I felt chills on my spine, to think she could harm herself. The very idea made me shiver. I knew it was an accident, but I was scared anyway. Not knowing where she was, that was a desperating situation as well. 

I gently caressed her hair, trying not to wake her up, but she was sleeping so deeply. I was tired myself, but I was so worried, I saw the sun rising. I slept for about two hours, she moved in bed and I jumped.

She was stretching herself, looking at the ceiling and recognizing where she was, I waited until she turned to me. "Morning." I said.

She blinked, and didn't answer me. I raised, supporting myself on my elbows. "Eve, are you okay?"

She nodded. She closed her eyes, I inclined to her, touching her face. She started sobbing and I gasped. She turned away from me, sitting on the bed.

I got near her, caressing her arm. "Talk to me, Eve." She looked so tired.

"Sometimes I wish I was sedated, in a long coma. It would be easier."

"Don't say that, darling."

"Now what, Ville?" She turned to me.

"I don't know. Do you... Do you love me, still?" Was she able to forgive so much? I didn't deserve it.

She sighed deeply. "I thought about it. If it was me, pregnant of another person, would Ville accept it?" She said, looking down at her hands, then she turned to me. "I know we weren't together. And I left you that day, to never turn back. We've said goodbye in the most hurtful way possible. You had to move on, right?"

"I wasn't moving on, I was just being stupid as always. And if it was you, pregnant of someone else... I'm not gonna lie, it would be a difficult situation, but I think we would manage it. But it's easy for me to say, of course. You're the only one who can judge it better."

It would be strange, to see her waiting a baby, that was so much desired by us, but not mine. Even though it was only hypothetical, it seemed distressing, to say the least, but we would find a way, I was sure.

"It hurts to know that it's Natalie. That you will be forever connected to her."

"We can't be sure. I still believe it's not mine. Unfortunately she lies a lot." She covered her eyes, she seemed in pain. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm having a headache like I'm still on a hangover."

"I'll get you something."

"I'll take a bath. I really need it."

I nodded. "I'll fill the bathtub for you."

She stayed sit in bed. While the bathtub was filling, I gave her a pill and some water. I put things I knew she liked in her bath, salts and stuff like that. I picked the glass from her hand, and she held mine. Her simple touch was enough to make my heart race. I still didn't know how to react near her. I wanted to hold her, but I was afraid to make her suffer. I felt like I didn't deserve to be near her, but at the same time I wanted her to know I was there for whatever she needed.

She deserved peace, and I was the one taking that away from her.

I checked her scratches under her bangs. "Does it hurt?" She shook her head. "Come, your bath must be ready." She raised and followed me to the bathroom. I made sure she had everything she needed, I picked towels and checked the water. "I'll make you some coffee."