Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

20. Bleed Well

I flew to him. I held his head and I felt a bit of relief when he moved, lying on my lap. Thank god he didn't pass out, but he had a pained expression. "Ville, talk to me. What are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling sick. Just give me a minute."

He coughed a lot. He managed to sit on the bathroom floor and stayed a while like this, with his eyes closed. He then bent over the toilet seat and started vomiting. I could see there was blood on it and I panicked.

"Ville, do you want me to call Seppo? We must go to the hospital."

"No. Just wait a second."

I didn't know which medication he was supposed to take now. There were so many I got lost. I quickly read some of the names. There was one for nausea, but I had to wait if he would vomit again.

I picked a wet towel for him. He cleaned himself and laid on my lap again. His breathing was heavy, I was worried to death and didn't know what to do.

"I'm better, kulta. I was feeling sick, I just need to rest now."

"Let's go to bed. Let me help you."

He was so skinny that if he was smaller, probably I could carry him. He looked so fragile that my heart sank. I started to cry and feel like an idiot, I couldn't be desperate, I had to help him.

He laid in bed, I just sat by his side, waiting if anything else would happen. He opened his eyes and made a pained expression when he looked at me.

"Kulta, don't cry. I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I'm fine." He wiped out my tears, his hand was cold, his lips were white but he was smiling, trying hard to like alive, literally.

"How can you be fine? You are vomiting blood. Ville, please, let's go to the hospital."

"No, kulta. I feel better already."

"Ville, I'm calling Seppo. I won't let anything more serious happen to you." He held me by the arm. "Eve, please don't. I'm asking you not to! Let's wait until morning. It's all I ask. I don't wanna go back to the hospital."

I looked at him and said nothing. I would call Seppo, no matter what. He realized I would, and let me go. "If you care about me, you won't let me stay in that fucking hospital." He looked hurt.

"I'm calling him exactly because I care about you."

I went upstairs to get my cellphone. Seppo took a while to respond. I explained the situation and he asked me to wait, that he would be there with a doctor to check if it was necessary to move him to the hospital right away. Maybe not the first time that happened, the doctor told us at the hospital about him vomitting blood before.

I came back to Ville's room. He was sitting in bed and didn't look at me. I sat by his side and we stayed in silence for a while. He sounded so hurt when he mentioned the hospital, I wondered what he was thinking now.

I couldn't stand the silence between us, I was worried as hell for him. "How are you feeling now? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"I've told you I'm fine."

"Don't be angry about this, Ville. I just want the best for you and I won't lose any time when it comes to an emergency."

"What emergency? I'm fine!" He was a bit altered, but didn't look at me in the eye.

"Ville, you can be angry all you want, don't be so stubborn -" he cut me. "Do you think this is about stubbornness?" Now he turned to look at me and I got a bit jumpy with his reaction. "I've spent so many days staying in the freaking hospital in the past months you can't imagine how sick I am of this routine." He covered his face with his hands. "Maybe this was a mistake, after all."