Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

141. Would You Die Tonight For Love?

I tried to move, but Ville was holding me and I heard Charlie making noises from her bedroom. Soon, she came to ours. "Äiti."

"Daddy needs to sleep, don't make too much noise, okay?" I whispered to her. She climbed onto the bed, on my side, holding me. She slept, but I couldn't. I watched Ville sleeping, he looked so tired. After an hour or so, Charlotte woke up again. "I'm hungry, mommy."

"Okay, let's try to move without waking dad, okay?" She moved first, for her everything was an adventure. I was sure Ville would wake up, but he was so tired he didn't. I called Seppo while I made breakfast for Charlie. "I don't know at what time he will be ready. He didn't sleep at all."

"Perkele. Do you think he will be alright?"

"I don't know, Seppo. I really don't."

"Well, let me know. We still have time. Just don't show him the news, they are talking a lot of shit after what happened yesterday."

"I can imagine it."

I checked some and they were saying terrible things, indeed. They were saying Ville was drinking again, that he performed drunk and it was the worst show Tavastia ever saw. I hate the media. One day they are licking your boots, one mistake and you're dead.

I was completely groggy, from not sleeping. I passed out on the couch for maybe half hour, but Charlie woke me up, full of energy. Sometimes I felt guilty I didn't have much energy to play with her. I checked on Ville several times, but he only woke up by noon. I went to the bedroom and he was sitting on the bed.

He looked at me, maybe a bit confused. "Are you alright?" I asked him, he scratched his eyes.

"Tell me last night was a nightmare." He had that melted down expression all over again. I sat by his side, and he held my hand. "Tell me we are okay."

"How do you feel? Do you think you will be able to perform today at Helldone?"

"I don't care about it. Everything can go to hell for all I know."

"Don't say that, Ville. Come, I made food. You need to eat." As I raised, he held my hand and pulled me back, holding me in his arms when he also got up. His hand was caressing my face, he opened his mouth to say something but no sound came. Instead, he rested his head on my shoulder, I felt his breathing on my neck. I held him to me, and I felt his tears on my skin. I squeezed him harder, and he also held me tight. "You have to eat, you'll feel better." He went reluctantly to the kitchen with me.

Charlie realized something was wrong. "Daddy, are you sad?"

"No, dear. Don't worry, dad is fine."

"Your eyes are red, like when I cry."

"Daddy has some allergies, it's just that. It makes me look like I'm crying."

"Your dog allergy?"

"Yeah, or flowers."

I helped Charlie with her food, Ville was only trying to eat. He was without any appetite, so was I. "Is it so bad you don't want to eat it?"

He looked at me and smiled weakly. "It's delicious, as always." He made an effort and ate a bit more. Charlie finished her plate and went to Ville's lap, I tried to eat but I was the same as him, eating like a bird, like my mom used to say.

Seppo called and he talked to Ville a while. He decided to play tonight, he took a shower and dressed. I was exhausted. "At what hour you're coming?"

"I... I don't think I can. I didn't sleep at all."

Ville made a sad expression. "I'll ask your parents to take Charlie, what do you think?"

"Fine."