Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

178. Despair Has a Face

"Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 61B to Helsinki. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you."

If Eve was here with the children, we would be boarding by now. God, I left her all alone with Dylan. She understood, of course, still I felt uneasy.

We were more than happy with Dylan's birth, but something was off. I was off. I don't know why I treated Eve so badly lately. It wasn't her fault, the problem wasn't her. Nor even her mother, although she could be terrible sometimes, but me. It was only me. Everything seemed so little now that life slapped me in the face as to say, "wake up, Ville. What are you doing with your life? You have everything, yet, why are you feeling so low?" I still didn't have the answer, though.

Dad was in a hospital and that was one of my biggest fears ever. I know it's a natural process, we live to see our beloved parents aging, but still I feared the day I would have to face that. But the complicated part was to understand what really happened to him. Seppo sent me messages to tell me my dad was fine. The relief I felt when I had signal again on my device was enormous. I immediately searched for "äiti" on the cellphone.

"Mom?"

"Oh, Ville! I'm so glad you called. Listen, your dad is fine, just some scratches. He has some pain in his leg but he will be alright. He's safe, dear. How are you?"

"I'm worried of course. But oh god, this is such good news." I felt so exhausted all of sudden. "I'm coming back home to you guys, mom. I can't wait to be there with you."

"Jesse is here with us, we are waiting for you. Stay safe, don't need to hurry. Everything will be fine, dear. Call Eve, she's worried about you, she already know how Kari is."

"I will. Hug him for me, I'm on my way."

"I love you dear."

"I love you too mom." I gave myself a minute before calling Eve. I didn't want her to worry about me. I took a deep breath and I even chuckled to myself in relief. My hands were shaking when I dialed Eve's number.

"Ville?" She picked so quickly.

"Hi, kulta." Her voice was so soothing, even though I could feel the urgency. "I had news from my dad. I finally got some signal on the phone, I'm here in Amsterdam waiting for my flight to Helsinki."

"So I've heard he is well." Doctors say your heart doesn't really hurt, that you can't actually feel pain from it. So what was that horrible, burning sensation I had inside my chest, every time I could hear Eve's voice trembling? When I knew she was hurt, it was inevitable feeling something breaking inside me.

"Kulta? What's wrong, did something happen?"

"No dear, I was just worried, about you, about Kari, everything."

She didn't convince me, she sounded so defeated. "I know dear, but everything will be fine. Kulta, how are you, how are things? Is Charlie okay?"

"I am better now. It was just a difficult day, dear. She and Dylan are fine, missing you already."

"Oh sweetheart. I'm so sorry I left in such a desperate manner."

"It's okay, you couldn't do anything else but run to them. I'm checking the flights, I'm coming to you dear. My mom is also coming to help me with the children."

"Oh, and I thought I would be free from her." The sound of her laughter, that could alleviate any pain. I chuckled to hear her sweet giggle, telling me everything would be just fine. "I love to hear your laughter, and no, I'm not tired to tell you that." She giggled lightly. If Mige was here, he would laugh at us. I was an eternal silly teenager around her, that would never change. "I think I need to board, soon. Rest a bit kulta, you don't seem fine."