Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

120. You Are My Heaven Tonight

I was looking at the sky, and the pollution didn't let me see my favourite star. But I was actually angry the way Ville spoke to me, I cried so mad I was. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, I would be sad and right after, really mad. I didn't get his reaction, I understood he got jealous, but I thought he was overreacting and I wonder if it was something else. I was mad and worried at the same time. And hurt. I laid a bit on the grass, curled up, trying to calm myself down.

I woke up feeling someone grabbing me. "What are you doing out here, are you mad?" Ville was catching me in his lap, I slept on the grass and was sneezing because of the cold. "I thought you were with Charlie."

"Put me down please, I can walk." He obeyed and I was shaking. I looked up, probably it was almost dawn.

"Let's get inside, you're shivering."

"I just want to be alone, can't you see?" It was damn cold, but I was proud.

"Fine. But be alone inside the house, please. I'll leave you by yourself, don't worry."

I stayed stuck in place, in that confused mental state when you just wake up, and maybe he thought I was resisting. He picked me up, putting me on his shoulder, just like a cave man. "What the hell, Ville? Put me down!"

He dropped me on the couch and I was mad. I could see a smile forming in the corner of his mouth, but I was annoyed and wanted him to know that. I went to the kitchen, I needed something warm. He went after me and threw a blanket over me. "You're shaking." His hands were on me and I shrugged. "Okay, I'm fine."

"Kulta, I... I'm sorry. I was a total jerk."

I turned to him. "Yes, you were."

"I'm really sorry I offended you. I feel so stupid, I'm really sorry. I... I lost it."

"Weren't you going to leave me alone?"

I was angry and didn't want to talk. I felt my whole body hurt and I had the worst headache. He looked a bit hurt, I had a dumb heart and I almost hugged him, regretting it. I gave up making a tea and went to Charlie's room. I checked her, she was sleeping. I was sneezing like crazy, probably caught a cold. My eyes were hurting and swollen, my back hurt, I was feeling horrible. I got better after a quick shower, but I was shivering even thought my body was warmer. I went back to Nick's old room and Charlie was still sleeping. Ville was there in the dark, but I knew he was watching me. I went back to my room and fell flat on the bed, I was dead.

I felt Ville's weight by my side, but I remained still, with my face turned to the other side. I felt a tear running already, I was sad to fight with him.

He ran his hand on my hair, removing it from my face and I buried it on the pillow, I didn't want him to see me crying again. I felt his body near mine, pulling me to him. He held me by the waist and I sobbed all over again. "You really don't want to leave me alone." I got up, running away from him, but he was right after me.

"No, I won't. Kulta, look at me." He held me. "What, Ville? Are you going to make fun of me again, or something?"

"I didn't... I didn't meant to, I'm sorry, I'm fucking stupid, I know."

"You are, you are very stupid." He was pulling me, I held back pushing him on his chest, he insisted with some strenght. I didn't want to look at him, and I hit his chest in anger with my hand, still he didn't let me go. I was trying to get rid of him, but he held my pulses, we were almost physically fighting. "Just let me go!" I screamed, and he shook me, making me face him. "Break my face if you want, break me entirely, all my bones, one by one, I deserve it. Break my heart if you wish, it's all yours to do whatever you want with it." He finally let me go.