Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

2. Wrong Decisions

I couldn't believe how stupid I am. Of course it was him! HIM. I remembered vaguely an album cover, a pink one. It was H-I-M. He was Ville fucking Valo, right in front of me! I actually didn't know much the band, just their killer version of Chris Isaak's Wicked Game. I must have kept my mouth open like forever, because he couldn't stop laughing of my expression.

"Darling, are you alright?" He was still laughing.

I was in shock. A rock star right here, talking to me.

"I'm terribly sorry, Ville. I should have recognize you."

"Eve, no worries. I actually enjoy when people don't know me, especially here in Helsinki, it's a bit rare."

"The worst is that I do know you, but I didn't recognize you at all. I had no clue. I remember you with a lot of make up, shorter hair."

"Yeah, sometimes I look more normal, I don't usually wear make up on daily basis." He smiled shyly. "Well, sometimes I cut my hair, but it's been like this a while now. And I'm always with my beret or a beanie, anyways."

"Oh gosh, I feel so stupid. I'm sorry, I really am."

"Hey, I don't mind, it's all good." He put his hand over mine, on the table. When he touched my hand, I started to shake a bit. This was even more stupid. I felt nervous around him, I even felt my stomach flutter. 

And those pair of emerald eyes were staring directly at my soul. It was so green and deep, I could stare into them forever. But I had to snap, I looked away and he gently removed his hand over mine.

"I feel embarrassed. Don't know much of your band, but I know I should. You guys sound amazing."  I couldn't stare anymore, just looked at my now empty cup.

Then I remembered. I showed Phil the Wicked Game version once and he hated. He was deadly serious about covers and thought it was a disrespect with Chris Isaak. What a douchebag. But the worst was me, that stopped listening to it near him just because he hated and I didn't want to displease him. So I kinda forgot about the band.

"There is no should, it happens. With so many good bands around, why listening to a shitty one?" He chuckled in a very funny way. "But I can give you some tips about songs you must hear by the end of winter." He giggled. He had a real funny and weird laugh, it was hard not to smile around him. 

"Offering me another handful service."

"At your service, madamoiselle."

When I stopped to think about Phil, it came like a heavy cloud on my thoughts. He probably saw it right in my face. Unfortunately, I guess I'm very transparent sometimes.

"Eve? I was serious, don't worry about it. It happens. I truly understand there are more incredible bands for you to hear. And maybe there was a reason for you not hearing much about us, anyway. Maybe if you knew who I was, we wouldn't be talking right now, and I would hate it." He said it with a smile. He was studying me, I could see that. Or maybe it was the other way around it.

"No Ville, it's not only that, although I really regret not knowing your band better. But I didn't do it for the wrong reasons and now I feel really stupid and ashamed."

"Tell me about it." He held his chin with his hand, at the table. He was a little closer and I was getting nervous.

"Well, if you insist... Once, I listened to Wicked Game and thought it was amazing." He had the cutest smile.  "You have a very beautiful voice, Ville." As I said it, I could tell he was blushing. Again. "At the time, I was dating a guy and we would always show cool things to each other. So, naturally I was enthusiastic to show him the song. But... he didn't like much." I hesitated and felt like giving excuses for Phil. "Because he loves the original one so much, you know? But he criticized it and..." I was ashamed of admitting it. "I stopped listen to your band near him, and he was always with me, so I stopped listen to HIM at all." I stared deadly at my hands.

There was a brief silence. I didn't know what to do, I just felt him sigh. 

"I'm sorry, but your boyfriend was right. The original one is way better than ours." He was smiling widely.

"Don't say that. I love both versions. Like I said, your voice is so incredible, and you guys are very talented."

"But I'm sorry if I am crossing boundaries here, but you boyfriend is a jerk if he does not tolerate your musical taste. Or your ideas, in general."

"Ex- boyfriend." As I said he put his two hands together like he was thanking the gods for it, and I couldn't help but smile. He shyly smiled after that. "I know that now. But I am the one to blame, you know? I feel like I lost so much. For nothing."

Shit. I didn't believe I was actually wasting my time talking about Phil with this incredible man. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized we were talking for two hours already. Time flied near him. He seemed a bit shy, wanting to ask something. "Hum, did you break up a long time ago?"

"Not so much, it's pretty recent. Couple of months, I don't know, I'm not counting."

"Oh. That's one more coincidence."

I looked surprised. "Really? Did you end a relationship as well?"

"Yes." He looked up, staring into my eyes. There was something about him I couldn't keep my eyes off. The idea of him being single twisted my stomach. Of course he was damn attractive, but it was silly to nurture anything for a stranger I've just met. "Couple of months as well."

"Did it end badly?"

"A lot." Ville giggled. "What about you?"

"So bad I crossed an ocean to be away."

"Wow. I'm sorry to hear."

"Yeah, me too."

"I guess break ups are always bad. Some are just worse. You'll be fine." Ville gave me a reassuring smile. I smiled back to him. "Are you alright about you break up?" I felt nervous by questioning him about it. It was something so personal, I wouldn't dare to ask this to many people, but with him, I felt I could risk more. 

"Yes. I'm better now." Ville had such a hypnotic gaze, not to talk about his smile. He was different from anyone I've ever met, I wondered a bit if it had something to do with him being a foreigner. Well, I was the foreigner here in this cold country. But I could see, this feeling and impression I had about him, had nothing to do with where he was born. There was something about him that was magnetic, so much I felt silly and embarrassed. I felt like a silly giggling teenager, that couldn't stand to be near people. I nodded to him, unable to talk more about it. "Ville, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom. Be right back."

"Sure." It was maybe too abrupt and he acted a bit funny. He got up same time as me. I felt his eyes on me and I could tell how nervous I was. 

I went to the bathroom telling myself I had to get a grip.