Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

55. Salt in Our Wounds

In some level I was relieved that we talked about us, but of course I was sad. I knew it would hit me later. For now, I was mostly angry.

Henrik's class was good but I just couldn't pay attention. My conversation with Ville was on my head, things I shouldn't and should say to him. His pained expression, his eyes would haunt me, always.

I didn't have any news on him during the week, Leena was even afraid to ask me about him. She and Mige probably talk about it, but I just wanted to be at peace a while.

But the truth is that I was feeling miserable, knowing he was near and we didn't talk. I stopped going to the coffee shops I knew he went. As the days passed, I was getting sadder with everything we said to each other. It wasn't a matter of being proud, but I was felt something was holding me back to have a decent conversation with him, like two adults. It just hurt too much to be near him, it was too recent. 

"Eve, do you wanna go out tonight? Please, I can't handle this lab anymore." Christine said to me, pulling me away from my bad thoughts. Everything was so strange lately I considered to be a good idea.

"Where to?"

"To The Crow."

"Isn't there another bar in Helsinki?" She got startled by my bad humour. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."

"No, not at all. It's just... it's the best, right? Good music and all."

"Yeah, I guess. Fine, we can go. Can I invite Leena?"

"Sure, you must. I invited Marius."

I rolled my eyes. "He likes you, Eve. Now that you're single... Don't you think he has a chance?"

"No. Please, don't give him any ideas."

"Sure, no problem."

I was almost regretting the invitation, but Leena was excited about it. "It's almost a girls night out that we don't have in a while."

"A girls night out plus Marius." I frowed.

Leena laughed. "Yeah, well, he's a cool guy, Eve. He just has this big crush on you."

"You didn't invite Mige, did you?"

"No. Of course not. It's going to be just us. I know you're avoiding... Well, never mind."

I had my doubts but it was a good decision. Leena was combing my hair and braiding it. I didn't use make up and produced myself for a long time, so we had fun doing it, just for a change.

"Finally we can go out without stockings, although it's still cold." Lee said, as we were wearing skirts. I remembered who used to hate them. Maybe it was fine for Leena but for me was still cold as hell.

We met Chris at the pub, together with Marius. "Wow, you all look stunning." He said. Leena giggled and I knew he was trying to be nice, but I just couldn't. "You too, Eve. You are really gorgeous. As always." I smiled shyly at him, I didn't want to be rude, but I was extremely uncomfortable. He just had a look that bothered me, it was a bit invasive. We chose a table and they all asked for beer, but I just stick to a Coke. There was a band playing tonight, they were good. Although I didn't know the songs, the instruments playing so loud in my ears made me fell good, so I decide to check them. "I'll go there." I told them and went closer to the stage.

I was paying attention to them, I didn't see Marius near me. "They are good, right?" He said, almost screaming in my ear. God, he was always near. And he got so close to me I gave a step aside. 

"Yeah, do you know them?"

"No, I've just read about. Hum, they will support HIM in a concert here in Helsinki."