Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

189. Suspiria Sunset

"How are you, after seeing Eve?"

"That was... Hard, to say the least." Bonnie had become a really good listener while here at rehab. I would often tell her she was more effective than my therapist since she wasn't afraid to tell me things that might hurt.

Her room was right beside mine, that's how I got to meet her, I got curious to listen to her American accent. When I first introduced myself, I never forgot she was bit surprised to know I've never heard about her before. I felt embarrassed, maybe I should have. "I'm Bonnie van der Berg. No? The actress, professional drunk and troublemaker?"

I chuckled. "Sorry, no. I'm not watching many movies lately, nor have been in pubs."

"Ah, right. Well, I mostly do stupid romcoms for teenagers, anyway. Maybe not your preferable choice."

"Not really. I'll wait until my daughter has enough age to watch those with her."

"Oh, you have a daughter... Of course, you're married." She looked at my ring. "I should've know, you're a very handsome guy."

I chuckled at her flirtatious gaze. "Oh, thank you. Yeah... For now I am married. And with two children. My youngest is only 8 months old."

"Hum, marriage problems? Is that why you're here?"

"It's not that simple. There's a list and it's quite long... You don't live here in Finland, do you?"

"No, I was just shooting a movie in Denmark, then ended up here drunk, in a ferry. My agent gave me two options, to quit my career or to enter a rehab right away. The latest sounded wiser."

"I guess so."

"So I'm guessing you're pretty popular? I saw people looking at you. If I could understand what the hell they were talking about, I would have know all about you, because I could tell they were gossiping about you eagerly. With this voice, you must be a singer. You look like a rock star."

"Well, you're right about me being a singer. Not so much about being a rock star."

"I doubt that. You have a very undeniable aura of a star. There's a light around you, I can tell." I chuckled at her remarks. "So, why are you here? Drugs, alcohol?"

"Not those. Just... Oh, it's complicated."

"I have time."

Bonnie was incredulous and I haven't told her half of the whole story of the kidnapping. Somehow, it was easy to tell her everything and then I realized I never really talked about it much to anyone. Not even to Eve. I wanted to spare her from nasty details, but I realized now that it helped telling my story to someone. I was seeing a therapist daily but she was working in other ways. Bonnie was interested in my story and she was very funny, making jokes and not taking things too seriously. I could tell by her face how shocked she was at some details but still, she tried to take things lightly.

I kept thinking that Eve didn't open up with me because she also wanted to spare me from whatever happened to her during this difficult period. Why do you always carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, dear? Or maybe I was just fooling myself, thinking that way. It hurt to admit it was over. I had to find myself excuses, after all.

Days were boring at rehab but I guess they weren't supposed to be eventful. Time passed smoothly here and it was good not to worry about mundane things. I was constantly worried about Charlie and Dylan, though. And Eve. Despite everything, she would never ever leave my thoughts. Unfortunately they weren't so sweet now. But thinking of her kept me alive before, and this time wouldn't be different. I just wished I knew what was going on with her.