Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

39. Paris

We sat in a coffee shop nearby, trying to sink in the idea. We were on a table outside, watching people passing by. We didn't say anything for a while, Ville was holding my hand.

"Kulta, talk to me. What are you thinking?"

I sighed heavily, snapping. "If I am really pregnant, everything changes, obviously. I just don't know how, if I need to... There's so much to think, I simply don't know Ville. I'm lost."

I was looking down at my hands. As usual, has was sitting by my side. "Kulta, look at me." I turned to him, he had a worried look. "Whatever the situation is, we can handle it. I know we can."

I tried to smile at him. "Do you want me to buy a pharmacy test? And we end this agony now." He asked me.

"No, I think we can wait. This way we can be sure. What if the test is not the real result? Then we would... I just don't know. We can wait, I guess."

"We are both masochists, indeed."

"I guess we are."

Ville hugged me tight. "It's all my fault, I shouldn't... I should've been more careful."

"We did it, Ville. Together. We should've been more careful, indeed." I emphasized on the we.

"And we are together in this. No matter the results." He caressed my hair. His gentleness helped me stay calmer.

"I'm scared. I'm deep frightened, truth to be told."

"I am, too. But it's a curious situation. I dreamed about it and didn't know what to make of it. I couldn't sleep anymore. It was the day after Helldone." I remembered he telling me about weird dreams. "I was worried but at the same time I was happy." He then smiled at me. "If we are having a baby, then it's with the woman I love so much, so I can't be sad about it."

That melted my heart. Although I was crying already, I smiled at him. "You are always so gentle. I love you, too."

"Let's keep it to ourselves, until we know the results. It will be less stressful for you. If there's a baby girl or a baby boy in here, we have to keep you both protected." He rested his hand on my belly, and I had the urge to cry even more. I was totally scared, but he was being so lovely and worrying, it couldn't be possible to be more loved than I was by him. I caressed his face and he wiped away my tears. "Don't cry, kulta. It's going to be alright. I promise you."

"I know. I have you by my side, I know I can face anything."

He kissed me tenderly. "I have to go back to the hotel in a few hours, why don't we stroll around? So you can show me your favorite places around here."

Seppo called Ville to ask how I was, he just said I was better. Seppo had a good laugh telling Burton and Linde went to the interview and they hated it. Ville laughed about it as well, we would definitely watch it later. It was cold, but I took Ville to one of my favorite ice cream store. "Oh lord, I'm having a brain freeze, but this is definitely awesome." Ville approved.
"This is one the best gelatos I've ever had." I said it while he stole a spoonful of my ice cream cone.

"Kulta, be careful, you can't catch a cold now."

"Don't worry, I won't." It was so cute of him, worrying about my health like this.

We walked around, entered some shops, but I couldn't stop thinking about the current situation. While we were walking, Ville stopped when he saw something. It was a baby clothing store. I looked at him and he was thoughtful.

"Do you prefer a girl or a boy?" He asked me and I was a bit surprised. "I don't know. Never stop to think about it. I mean, not like that, with a real possibility. How about you?"