Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

195. I'm Not Ready to Die

I don't know why I asked. I already knew it.

He removed his gloves first, so he could remove his helmet. I recognized his hands, I knew it was him even before he removed his balaclava. My heart raced faster when I saw that distinguished green, blueish eyes, his gentle smile towards me, as always.

"Hi, kitten."

Matthias was here, right in front of me.

He removed some other gear. "Is it me, or is it too hot in here?" He was trying to read me, as I was completely still in place. "Oh, I expected a warmer reception. Eve, are you alright?"

He quickly approached me, and like he always does, he was examining me, checking if I was fine. Well, I wasn't. I was living this endless nightmare, and to see him again was like waking up. I thought he was dead or that I wouldn't see him again, ever. Besides, if he was here, it meant I was safe from Ilya and Yuri, most likely.

"Eve, please say something." He held my face, making me look at him. His worried eyes, the gentleness in his touch, it was really him, I wasn't dreaming.

"You're alive."

He seemed to acknowledge something. "Oh, yeah, I am."

A wave of heat hit me, and my cheeks were getting warmer. Of anger. "You let me think you were dead. All this time!" I stepped back.

He didn't know whether he should laugh or calm me down, he seemed confused. "I... Sorry? I will explain everything. It wasn't my intention to hide it from you, I mean, there are many things involved, I just... I didn't know you would care that much."

"Why wouldn't I? I was afflicted, not knowing anything about you. If you were fine. Nothing. And I know you find a way for everything, like you are here right now, so why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

He smiled, looking a bit victorious. "Does that mean that you've missed me?"

I tried to control, but a wave of emotions hit me. I wasn't just relieved he was there to save the day, once again. He was there and saved me from Ilya, he didn't allow that disgusting man did the worst to me. Again. But it wasn't just that, I was more than happy he was here, in front of me, in one piece. I was afflicted not knowing what could have happened to the man that saved my life countless times. I tried to avoid, but I just burst into tears, it was a mix of sadness and terror, but also happiness to be reunite with him once again. I hid my face with my hands as if I was a child.

Quickly, I felt his gentle arms around me. "Are you hurt? Let me look at you. Eve, are you in pain?" His tone was urgent.

I was in pain, truly. Not only my face was hurting a lot, but I was on the edge. Now the adrenaline lowered and to think Ilya came all this way for his revenge and he could have caused a bigger damage, like hurting my family, I was completely spooked. Terrified. There was no end to this. I sobbed because I've been holding it in my chest for a while.

Matthias pulled me to his welcoming embrace, just holding me. He let me cry in his chest, and I only acknowledged my pathetic situation when he caressed my hair. He didn't say a thing, until a radio noise interrupted my ugly cry. He stepped away from me, and said something in a radio, in Russian.

"What was that?"

He had his hair up in a ponytail, he was on fight mode. He put the radio away, turning it off. I was still impressed by his professional gear. His expression softened when he looked at me. He caressed my hair, putting it behind to see my face. When he checked me, he made a face, looking angry. "We need to go, now. Does this hurt?" He lightly touched my face where Ilya hit me.